That Orange Crush Rush Origin Story

It is no joke the rush you get from pounding a Crush orange soda before a kettlebell workout. That shit might not be caffeinated but it doesn’t matter. Achieve a bonus effect by shotgunning your Crush. Those 60 mg of Yellow 6 and Red 40 artificial food colorants reach your bloodstream faster than it took for you to catch your breath after yesterday’s 10 minute AMRAP.

What many CrossFitters don’t know is that orange Crush has a special effect that makes you think you can lift heavier than you can. Muscle deception at its finest level. The result: wicked bad form. Cringe worthy, put that barbell down and go home kind of form. Not only is your form bad, you’re YELLING. WHY ARE YOU YELLING?! STOP YELLING! All of a sudden it becomes incredibly obvious why Planet Fitness put in that Lunk Alarm. Fucking orange Crush drinkers. GO HOME.

Get your orange fix and save yourself the 71 grams of sugar with these BEAST goodr orange sunglasses. Made in our BFG frame for your large melon. Served with only positive side effects like PRs and compliments on your beautifully flat back while deadlifting. Oh my goodness, and your squat! Heels are flat, knees are out, chest is up, and damn your depth is good.