The Mod One Out Origin Story
Carl the Flamingo went out to the parking lot to get some fresh air when he discovered that every car in the lot had a weird pamphlet stuffed under the windshield wipers. “F*cking litterbugs,” he grumbled. He started plucking them off of the vehicles, one by one… “Moms Fighting Against Fashion Subcultures. Is someone you know a Mod? A Goth? Rockabilly? We can help!” Carl sighed, “For flock's sake, why can’t we just leave people alone?!”
He sat in the breakroom, looking for an excuse to avoid doing any actual work. He thumbed the stack of pamphlets he’d brought in. As he went to toss them in the recycling bin, he couldn’t help but be intrigued by the special quiz mentioned on the cover. He had to sneak a peek…
STEP 1: IDENTIFYING THE PROBLEM
The first step in solving any problem is identifying the problem! Our unique team of experts has put together this insightful quiz to help you identify the exact fashion subculture that your loved one has fallen victim to. Read on to discover how YOU can help…
The victim would choose the following outfit:
A custom-made Italian slim-suit
Black on black.
White t-shirt, pegged jeans, creepers
How does this person style their hair:
a. Wolf cut or a wing cut
b. Dyed black.
c. Ducktail, preferably greased
What is the victim’s ideal mode of transport:
A Vespa gang, duh
A vintage Cadillac hearse
A custom hot rod
4. Which music tickles their earbuds:
Vintage Jazz, Oasis, The Beatles
Dark Wave, The Cure, Bauhaus
Rockabilly, Elvis, The Stray Cats
5. Has this person used any of the following slang:
Flashkick, Gab Up, Face, Ticket
Moontan, Kindergoth, Necro
Hepcat, Daddy-O, Knuckle Sandwich
STEP 2 FIXING THE PROBLEM:
If you answered mostly As this person is likely a Mod. You should design a line of fashionable angular cat eye frames inspired by '60s mods and Pop Art aesthetics for them called Pop Gs. Actually, you know what would be REALLY cool?! A pair of white frames with non-reflective black lenses. The epitome of style. Call them Mod One Out.
If you answered mostly Bs, this person is likely a goth. Try getting them to listen to the Osmonds and The Carpenters. Make them watch The Partridge Family. Take them to the hipster part of town to shop for vinyls and make them spend $9 on a pour-over coffee. Another strategy is to have them get a classic French manicure and matching cutesy pink velour tracksuits with something adorable written on the butt in rhinestones. (We must warn you that shaking the darkness from their core may be impossible.)
If you answered mostly Cs, this person is Rockabilly and has a very unhealthy obsession with the past. Try getting them to eat more bran cereal. Force them to watch movies starring the Olsen Twins. Have them listen to Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera. Have them try on a pair of low-rise jeans. This will help shock them out of the 50s and into the early aughts. (Hey, we’ve got to start somewhere.)
“OK, that is just flocking weird,” said Carl.
“What is?” asked Lizzy-Shea, who had just wandered into the breakroom for a fig bar.
“This weird pamphlet was left on my windshield this morning, and I just took this bizarre quiz in it that was obviously just pro-Mod propaganda disguised as like, social activism or something? But it did have a GREAT idea in there for a new pair of sunglasses like we’ve never done before!!! They even named them!!! Get product on the horn ASAP, Lizzy-Shea. We’ve got to make these Mod One Out sunglasses!!!”
