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LOCALS COMMEMORATE FIRST PURPORTED SIGHTING OF LOCH NESS “MONSTER” WITH ANNIVERSARY ORGY BY WILLIAM WALLACE Los Angeles - SHE had first appeared centuries ago, in Scotland’s Loch Ness, with only a handful of recorded sightings. At first, the fables and...
TEENAGERS FURIOUS NO MARIJUANA ON CAPTAIN BLUNT’S RED-EYE After graduating from Rancho Cucamonga High School on June 12, 2015, best friends Jacob Vandestreek and Austin LaRocco planned a crazy adventure: Take “Captain Blunt’s Red-Eye” from San Francisco, CA, to Sydney,...
HOW CARL THE FLAMINGO CREATED AVIATOR SUNGLASSES Once upon a time, there was a flamingo CEO named Carl, who loved friends, family and his employees--hahahahahahaha. Sorry. Couldn’t type that with a straight hand. Carl loved getting f***ed up on piña...
MYSTERIOUS POEM ABOUT PICKLING HIPSTER DISCOVERED IN AUSTIN, TEXAS The following poem was scrawled in Graffiti Park on Castle Hill in Austin, Texas, on March 9, 2020: There Once Was A Hipster From Austin There once was a hipster from...
So many humans have their morning routines. They wake up and go to the same spot to get coffee, or fuel up their vehicle, or pick up some morning calories. We’re all pretty #basic when push comes to shove. It’s...
Being an influencer is hard work. You have to like, get up in the morning, share, go pee, share, drink some meal shake that's kind of okay and has questionable health benefits, share that. Then you probably commute on something...
Veronica was a fashion editor that always knew what was hot without even trying. And, in fact, made things hot by choosing them for her publication. She was once played by Meryl Streep in the little known film The Devil...
It’s obvious that the flamingo would be the best at pistols in all of the animal kingdom. The flamingos around the world take so much pride in their pistoling ability that they hold The Flamingo CrossFit Games annually every August...
Back in the late 1950s, goodr co-founder and weirdo, Stephen Lease, had a sordid but gentle love affair with a bright purple kraken named Maven. He would spend days on end staring into her purple & teal eyes while tending to...
Excerpt from George Miller’s Diary, December 17, 1992 This Outback Outhouse was exactly as you would expect it to be, the stench of urinal cakes and meat pie blow outs permeated the air for miles around; but at mile 43...
Back in the summer of ’71, the Board of Directors of goodr met in the Cancun office, which was located on one of the many pristine beaches in the area. Halfway through the morning board meeting, we ran out of...
