Shopping Bag
Unfortunately, this story* has been redacted due to the shocking X-rated, utter filth it contains. All you need to know is that these fresh AF mint green OG sunglasses with gradient lenses were inspired by the Dinner Mint Debauchery that...
In a drunken stupor, Carl the Flamingo decided it would be a good idea to solo captain a unicorn floatie for some late-night star gazing in the open ocean. The yacht stews and captain had all gone to bed for...
“OMG Carl! I had THE most embarrassing thing happen to me at work today!” Turlana exclaimed, exasperated. She had just gotten home from her job of spritzing perfume samples on unprepared victims at the local department store. She dropped her...
Looking to expand the Culture goodr team, Carl the Flamingo set out to create a squad of Vanguard Visionaries. He created a special project for the candidates to present a dossier of traits or characteristics that they felt made someone...
Carl the Flamingo went out to the parking lot to get some fresh air when he discovered that every car in the lot had a weird pamphlet stuffed under the windshield wipers. “F*cking litterbugs,” he grumbled. He started plucking them...
Carl the Flamingo awoke in a cold sweat. He just KNEW he was forgetting something. He looked at the alarm clock on his bedside table, and it was 1:47 a.m. DAMMIT!!! That nagging feeling he’d been experiencing all day finally...
“Hey Hank, what’s up?” Carl asked, annoyed that he was awakened from a post-lunch nap at his desk.“Hey Carl? There’s some guy downstairs who says he’s here to talk to you about the Pop Gs?” “What?!” Carl sounded flabbergasted. “No...
“Some people have ‘IT’. Some people don’t. I want you to think about that for a minute...” As soon as it came out of Carl the Flamingo’s mouth, a hush fell over the room at goodr’s recent Town Hall. “Do...
“Hey Carl, can I talk to you real quick about Approaching Cult Status?” a random goodr employee inquired.Feigning embarrassment, Carl responded, “I’ve been asked about this SO many times already!!! Aren’t you people tired of hearing about how I became...
Golfing with gopher holes is risky business. We’d like to think that goodr’s high contrast Flamingo Eye™ Technology will help you spot them on the green, but let’s face it, these critters’ well-groomed holes create sneaky little booby traps. No...
Mulligans are a part of the game. Kind of. Everyone handles them a little different. One per side. Breakfast ball off the 1st tee perhaps. Maybe none if there’s money on the line. But what if you had unlimited mulligans?...
A GINGER’S SOULMost people get it wrong,Thinking a soul is something Gingers lack,When the truth of it is,Gingers all have souls (it’s just that they are black).~ Introductory stanza to the 18th-century epic poem, “A Ginger‘s Soul” written by Ebeneezer...
