Born To Be Envied Origin Story

“Some people have ‘IT’. Some people don’t. I want you to think about that for a minute...” As soon as it came out of Carl the Flamingo’s mouth, a hush fell over the room at goodr’s recent Town Hall.

“Do you mean, like a vestigial tail?” Copywriter Lily piped up, popping out of her seat excitedly.

“He’s obviously talking about ESP, Lily. You know, a sixth sense? That’s why he’s so flocking good at predicting which sunglasses will be popular. Remember, he gained the ability to see ghosts and stuff when he took a bath using Dr. Uranium’s Radioactive Spectral Bubble Bath?! It said it was guaranteed to make his Uranus glow, but instead, it cursed him with paranormal abilities!!! I don’t personally know if it made his Uranus glow, though…Let’s turn the lights off and see!!!” Lizzy-Shea retorted enthusiastically from across the room.

“Seldom right and wrong again!!!” Carl rolled his eyes, getting frustrated. “I’m talking about the IT factor. You know, THE IT FACTOR?!”

“Is that like an irresistible quality that makes extraterrestrial sewer-dwelling clowns horny?” Tofutti asked, confused.

“What is wrong with you people?!” Carl huffed. “Have you really not ever heard of the IT factor?!” He threw his cup of water on the stage.

The whole room suddenly burst out laughing.

“What is going on here?! I’m trying to reveal this pair of fashion-forward lime green Born to Be Envied sunglasses, and you’re all ruining it!!!”

Everyone yelled, “GOTCHA!!!”

“Of COURSE, we know what the IT Factor is, Carl! Obviously, YOU were born to be envied. People can be green with envy, hence the lime green frame inspo…We’re totally just punking you. Just be glad we didn’t invite Dave Coulier here to film this for Totally Hidden Video. Now, let’s turn the lights off and see if you still glow!!!” Lily.