Shopping Bag
Carl the Flamingo was SO excited to host his first-ever slumber party!!! He had all kinds of fun things planned. He would order pizza and put out big bowls of candy and snacks. There would be a movie marathon of slasher movies. They would do beauty treatments like face masks and mani/pedis and giggle into the wee hours of the night while playing Truth or Dare and gushing over their current crushes.
Things were going great at first. Everyone was having a fabulous time gossiping, munching on snacks, and making hilarious prank calls to his on-again, off-again fiancée Turlana Quackenbush
“Hello?” Turlana answered.
“May I speak to Ivana?”
“Ivana? There’s no one here by that name…”
“Ivana Tinkle?” Carl was trying desperately not to crack up as he faked a Southern accent.
“Carl, is that you?! Where the hell have you…” Carl hung up, and the whole room giggled.
“Man, that NEVER gets old!!! Hey, do you guys want to watch a movie?! Who wants to watch Sleepaway Camp?!”
They all settled into the big cushy sectional and started their movie marathon. Carl waited patiently for the first guest to fall asleep so he could finally get into some REAL mischief. Although they’d barely made it through the first movie, Reginald the Unicorn was, of course, the first to fall asleep. She snorted herself alert several times and tried to pretend like she was awake, but sleepiness soon took over, and she was completely conked out. Once Carl was convinced she was truly asleep, he wrote PEN15 on her forehead and cheeks and gave her a thick black mustache with a permanent marker. Reginald slept through the group’s good-time shenanigans for the rest of the night.
The next morning Carl was ripped from sleep by a loud scream coming from the bathroom.
“What are you yelling about?” He asked, drowsily rubbing his eyes from the frame of the bathroom doorway. “You woke me up! I was having a really good erotic dream about being asphyxiated by Kuato from Total Recall.”
“@#$%^#@$% Carl!!! I am supposed to meet my fiancé’s parents today!!! I know this was you!” Reginald yelled upon seeing the doodles.
Carl had already forgotten what he’d done but was amused when he saw it.
“What?! It says PEN15!!! Not PENIS!!!” He shrugged.
She glared at him and hastily started getting her things together.
“Good thing we didn’t put her underwear in the freezer…” he mumbled to the other guests under his breath. “C’mon, don’t go!!! Mom's making French toast for breakfast! Well, technically, my servants are, but I call them all Mom! You LOVE French toast!!!” He pleaded.
She didn’t even bother changing out of her ridiculously adorable oversized llama onesie pajamas, stormed out the door, and sped off in her Gremlin. (Now, there’s a sight you don’t see every day, an angry unicorn dressed in a llama onesie crammed into her vintage lemon of an automobile.)
“Drama queen much?! Drama Del Ray. The Drama Llama. No, BIG Pajama Llama Drama!” Carl snickered to himself. “Hey, that’d make an awesome name for a pair of sunglasses!!! I can picture it now, ‘These dark beige BFG sunnies with amber gradient lenses won't slip or bounce during mandatory pillow fights.’ Genius.”
THE SUNNIES THAT STARTED IT ALL
THE STORY BEHIND THE SHADES
