Don't Make Me Blush Origin Story
“OMG Carl! I had THE most embarrassing thing happen to me at work today!” Turlana exclaimed, exasperated. She had just gotten home from her job of spritzing perfume samples on unprepared victims at the local department store. She dropped her mink coat and proceeded to leave a trail of garments on the floor as she headed to forage in the fridge.
Carl the Flamingo braced himself. “Oh no, what happened?” he asked, trying to sound sincere. Really, he was hoping that she was rustling around in the fridge because she was getting ready to make dinner. He was ravenous after a long day of lovemaking at the office.
She turned around, her mouth stuffed full of ice cream bonbons, “I had just gotten back from my lunch break. I asked a pack of middle-school boys if they’d like to sample a spritz of the eu de toilette spray I was hocking, thinking maybe they’d like to purchase a bottle for their soulmate, when one of them pointed to my butt and said, ‘More like eu de TOILET!’ They all started laughing hysterically and pointing at me! I turned and looked in one of the mirrors and saw that I had tucked a toilet seat cover into my spandex miniskirt! I turned beet red and ran straight to the bathroom! I refused to come out for the rest of my shift. Anyway, I got fired. AGAIN.” She took a giant swig of champagne and pouted. Her lips were rimmed with melted chocolate. She reminded him of a disgruntled toddler.
“I bet you looked adorable,” Carl responded.
“Aww, babe, don’t make me blush!!! You always know just what to say to me…” She responded coyly and gave him an enthusiastic hug that bordered on suffocation.
“You know, Freud said that blushing is just an expression of our repressed sexual desire…” Gasping for air, Carl struggled through her embrace but managed to choke out, “What do you want to do for dinner?”
As he began to black out from lack of oxygen from her overly affectionate hug, he had a vision of light pink OG frames with gradient lenses. To be lovingly referred to as Don’t Make Me Blush.
