Carl the Flamingo awoke in a cold sweat. He just KNEW he was forgetting something. He looked at the alarm clock on his bedside table, and it was 1:47 a.m. DAMMIT!!! That nagging feeling he’d been experiencing all day finally revealed itself. He had completely forgotten that his Art 101 final project was due the next morning. If he didn’t pass this class, he wouldn’t graduate. If he didn’t graduate, his daddy said he would cut him off!!!
What was he going to do?! Why did he spend all semester slacking off, sleeping in ‘til noon every day, and partying every night?! He rummaged through the garbage on his desk. There had to be something he could use….his roommate was snoring gently on the other side of the room. He could try to encase his roommate's body in papier-mâché..? No, it wouldn’t dry in time. Besides, how would he get the straws up his nose without waking him up?! He could try to kill him first? No, what if the sculpture started to smell…
Think Carl, THINK! Hmmm…he could stuff some tampons into the ears of a male mannequin’s head and say it was a social commentary on women’s issues? He could duct tape some fruit to the wall? Nah, too conventional…too derivative. These ideas had already been done a million times in a million ways.
He stayed up all night wondering what he should do. He’d start one project, get frustrated, and then smash it to smithereens. Eventually, he fell asleep at his desk with no final project to turn in.
The next morning, he planned to eat crow and beg the professor for an extension. He got to the gallery space where the other students were busily preparing their works for critique.
Carl’s eyes were burning from being up all night. He took off his sunglasses and placed them on an empty white pedestal that just happened to be within reach.
His professor approached, a suspicious and questioning look on his face. Carl was about to open his mouth and explain that he was sorry he hadn’t completed his project…
“Carl, is this your work?! It’s sensational! It’s the ideal merging of mass culture with fine art. By God, Carl!!! They’re not sunglasses. They’re the structural condition of a pair of sunglasses!!! Bravo!!!” his professor gushed.
Who knew that these angular blue
Pop G frames with the ocean lenses would turn Carl into a Pop Art Prodigy?!
