Dungaree Debauchery Origin Story

SAVE YOUR LOVE LIFE WITH DUNGAREE DEBAUCHERY

By Dr. Roxy Skala, Love Specialist

If you’re reading this, you and your partner have a terrible, unfulfilling love life. The algorithm doesn’t lie. We see you. Every time you try to reignite the passion, you flop around on the bed like clammy bug-eyed eelpouts on a frozen lake, gasping for water, but getting drier and drier, until finally you give up on seeking pleasure and lay still.

Fear not. There’s hope. Introducing Dungaree Debauchery: the revolutionary concept that will transform your bedroom antics from dreary to dynamite. Forget the frills, ditch the silk, and HAWK TUAH on satin! Embrace the rugged allure of dungarees. Just FEEL the rippling tactile sensation of coarse denim on your naughty parts. Oh, MY. It’s like getting spooned by a stallion.

“What's so special about dungarees?” you ask.” Isn't it just workwear?” Ah, but therein lies the magic. Dungarees embody a spirit of adventure. Imagine that your partner enters the room, clad in rugged denim, the sturdy straps dangling over supple skin, a hint of mischief glinting in their eyes. Go ahead. Rub the fabric. It evokes a primal connection. It’s like you’re carnal cavepeople, wrapped in wooly mammoth hides, speaking a guttural language of grunts and snorts, ready to turn 10,000 BCE to 10,000 DTF.

Dungarees defy the norm. They blend the practical with the provocative, the casual with the captivating. It’s more than a sartorial choice–it's a mindset. Dungarees encourage you and your partner to shed your inhibitions. It’s like you’re bloated, bulbous cicadas, alive above ground for just four weeks, so you let go of your anxieties, rub your leathery bodies together, and emit clicking sounds, a deafening buzz, and a high-pitched oscillating whir!

Buy whatever you want for dungarees. If it’s denim, you can’t go wrong. However, if you have a small noggin, I HIGHLY recommend buying Dungaree Debauchery goodr sunglasses. These small dark blue fashion-forward gradient LFG frames make the perfect accessory to your flirty Canadian tuxedo. I should know. I collaborated with goodr to create these shades, and tested them during 72 lovemaking sessions with my husband, zoologist Schyler Q. Hemphill. NOW GO. Get your mojo back, you jean-ius of seduction!!! Your shambolic eelpout days are over. Rawr.