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goodrTIMES

Yeeehawwww! bet you didn't know satan was a runner

Howdy cowgals and cowboys. For our most recent goodr G.A.M.S. installment we headed on down to Still Austin Whiskey Distillery and dressed like a bunch a’ rootin’ tootin’ western-y devils. Want the deets from the devil himself? Read on for the Whiskey Mile statutes below.

WHISKEY MILE STATUTES

1. Each competitor drinks four shots of whiskey (1 ¼ oz per shot), runs four laps, (ideally on in a distillery or an old tyme western town), and finishes by shooting a pair of six shooters into the air (start – shot, lap, shot, lap, shot, lap, shot, lap – shoot a pair of six-shooters into the air to finish).

2. Because goodr believes in gun safety and basic common sense, only fake cap guns are to be used to finish the race.

3. Shots must be consumed before the lap is begun, within the transition area, which is the length of 10 upright whiskey barrels.

4. All competitors must wear attire appropriate for an olde tyme western saloon or O.K. Corral shootout, plus one devilish accoutrement. Extra points if you ride a hobby horse or devil’s trident during the entire race.

5. Whiskey may be consumed as a shot or it may be mixed into your favorite whiskey cocktail (old fashioned, manhattan, whiskey sour, etc.), HOWEVER, if you choose to mix your whiskey you must lasso a hobby horse before you can begin your lap.

6. Competitors who vomit before they finish the race must complete one penalty lap at the end of the race (immediately after the completion of their 4th lap). Note: Vomiting more than once during the race still requires only one penalty lap at the end.

7. Though not required, it is highly recommended that a grizzled old-timer play a banjo during the entirety of the race. (Bonus points if your grizzled old-timer also yells insults at you, you chicken-hearted chuckle head fussbudget of a human.)

THE GOODR G.A.M.S. PRESENTS: THE WHISKEY MILE

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