THE GOODR G.A.M.S. PRESENTS: THE ROSÉ MILE
Most people assume that our intake of 3 bottles of rosé (each) was just a heavy-handed coping mechanism meant to stave off the dark depression that comes from contemplating the impending work week. But, the fact is, we don’t get “the Mondays” at goodr because it’s just that fun to work here. Instead, this (over)consumption of wine was intensive, deliberate training for the third event of the goodr G.A.M.S.: the Rosé Mile!
The Rosé Mile encompasses the world’s most athletic rosé drinkers (a highly coveted title) to compete for who can drink a bottle of rosé while running a mile as fast as they can. Pinkies up!
ROSÉ MILE STATUTES
1. Each competitor must drink a bottle of rosé (preferably a bottle of goodr G.A.M.S. Squawwwwk-aid), while running a mile, spaced out over four equal laps (start – glass of rosé, lap, glass of rosé, lap, glass of rosé, lap, glass of rosé, lap – strut down the catwalk to finish).
2. Glasses of rosé must be consumed before the lap is begun, within the transition area, which is the length of 10 Karlie Kloss struts (note: she is 6’2” and her inseam length is 40”…her stride is epic).
3. All competitors must wear attire appropriate for a runway fashion show or a Zoolander-themed party in a light pink and white color palette with accents of flamingo pink (as mandated by our C.E.O. Carl the Flamingo), plus rose (the flower) and rosé (the wine) accouterments.
4. All competitors must wear Runway goodr sunglasses in the colorway Stop and Smell the Rosé.
5. One extra point will be awarded for every inch of height on high-heels worn while running. Any runner who wears Christian Louboutin heels with a heel inch of 6” or more and a heel diameter 0.5 cm or less may run just two laps, and may drink the bottle of rosé in two halves, or choose to carry the bottle with them and sip throughout the course.
6. Rosé may be drunk from a wine glasses or straight from the bottle (which is preferable).
7. Competitors who vomit before they finish the race must complete one penalty lap at the end of the race (immediately after the completion of their 4th lap). Note: Vomiting more than once during the race still requires only one penalty lap at the end.
8. Though not required, it is highly recommended that a fashion diva host (if you can afford to hire Tyra Banks, this would be ideal, we cannot afford Tyra Banks) be present to comment and judge everyone’s dress and drinking style.
THE SUNNIES THAT STARTED IT ALL
THE STORY BEHIND THE SHADES