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goodrTIMES

After a year and a half of hunkering down inside our dark, dirty homes like naked mole rats, the world is finally opening back up. It’s time to travel, party and get f***ing plastered. With serendiptious* timing, goodr presents Tropical Opticals: a new line of sunglasses perfect for boozy beach vacations you barely remember. (Don’t panic, just take lots of photos and videos so you can retrace your steps afterward, The Hangover-style.)

Tropical Opticals includes 12 colorways. Polly Wants a Cocktail, Grape Ape Mistake, Adios Motha Flocka, Mai Tai Me Up Daddy, Siren’s Booty Call, and Mo-Jito Mo Problems are inspired by island cocktails. Bad and Bamboozy, Tropical Tummy Tickles, Cuckoo for Coconuts, [Insert Lei’d Joke], How Do You Like Them Pinapples?, and Tropic Like It’s Hot are inspired by tropical patterns. And let’s be real, these names are amazing**. Tell any stranger the name of your Tropical Optical sunny and they’ll love you forever.***

In celebration of Tropical Opticals, goodr’s avian CEO Carl The Flamingo said, “These sunnies won’t slip or bounce while you sip cocktails out of coconuts; drop it low at the tiki bar, crack cheesy ‘lei’d’ jokes at a tourist trap; taunt sharks while surfing; bite into a pineapple like an apple and feel immediate regret; get snared into a love triangle with two amazing sirens****, and run desperately through the airport to catch your flight home. What? That’s what I do on vacay. It’s normal. I’m normal. You’re -- you’re the weird one.”

For more Tropical Optical goodness, check out our origin stories about the cocktail-inspired pairs and the pattern-inspired pairs.

*Ooohhh, “serendipitious.” GREAT WORD!!! Just say it out loud! Serendipitous, serendipitous, serendipitous! It’s a roller coaster for your tongue! Yay!

**Awww, “amazing”?!  LAME WORD!!! So overused. Everything is “amazing,” according to today’s kids. You “lit af” “K-Pop stans” RUINED ‘amazing’!!!! Which, ironically, is amazing.
***Disclaimer: Strangers may just love you for 20 years, or a couple months, or for one steamy, serendipitous night, or not at all.

****STOP. SAYING. AMAZING. AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE IS AMAZING?

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