MELISANDRE’S DAY CARE ORIGIN STORY
MELISANDRE CLAPS BACK AT HATERS CALLING HER DAY CARE ‘ABUSIVE’
This week, “The Red Woman” Melisandre clapped back at haters calling her day care “abusive” just because their children were physically harmed and/or disappeared forever.
The 400-year-old thirst trap is best known for preaching the word of R'hllor, the Lord of Light. However, she also runs a successful day care service on Dragonstone, the former seat of gross House Targaryen and current stronghold of the AMAZING House Baratheon.
Sadly, toxic trolls attacked Mel-Mel’s Day Care by review-bombing the business listing on Yelp. As a result, the service’s stellar 4.9 rating has sunk to an abysmal 0.3. On Instagram, Melisandre shared a screenshot of the totally unfair negative reviews, with the blood-red words ‘HORSE SHIT” scrawled on the screen.
In the screenshot, Yelp user ScrambledAegon left a zero star review, writing: “I dropped off my son Clatton and when I picked him up he had HORRIFIC BLOODY SORES ALL OVER HIS BODY. Obviously from leeches. When I asked him what happened, he said nothing. Just started sobbing. WHAT DID YOU TO MY SON, YOU BITCH?! #LOCKHERUP”
In another zero star review, Yelp user DinnerIsComing wrote: “The Red Woman stole our daughter Jesmyn. We dropped her off to attend a tourney in Duskendale. When we returned, the staff acted like they had never seen us before. On the beach we dug into a pile of smoldering ashes and found a Visenya Targaryen doll, Jesmyn’s favorite toy. That’s when security kicked us out. #JUSTICEFORJESMYN.”
In a third zero star review, Yelp user CodsBeGood called Melisandre a “believer in Azor Asshat,” and made the libellous claim, “YOUR ABUSIVE,” despite providing no evidence, and the fact that mixing up “your” and “you’re” is more abusive than anything the Red Priestess has ever done. We will not dignify these trash people with further quotes.
In the caption, Melisandre responded to the outrageous accusations, writing: “The site is dark and full of errors. When I gaze into the flames 🔥I see the truth in men’s souls, and these Yelp users are full of Dothraki horse shit. 💩Moving on -- NEW PROMO! 💃Starting today, all customers get a free pair of Melisandre’s Day Care sunnies. 😎Also, all children of Kings stay for free! 👑👶🙌”
Authorities investigating the day care facility could not be reached for comment.