The 7 Best Black Sunglasses for 2025

Ditch the endless stroll through the mediocre sea of lameness and anchor your fashionable, functional, and fun self with the ultimate black sunglasses collection from goodr. This is the year we turn the eyewear game on its head…or face.

These aren’t your garden-variety sun blockers—they’re your ticket to joining the elite league of flamingo CEOs who know that the sophisticated appearance of a pair of black sunglasses is the situationship your face has been dreaming of. 

If you’re ready to stunt on your best frenemies and grace your face with the classiest peeper protectors in town, follow us into the mother flockin’ universe of the best black sunglasses for 2025. 

What’s So Special About Black Sunglasses?

You came here looking for ways to look cooler. We get it. We aren’t necessarily saying you need a little help in that department… but we know you’ve been thinking about your 10-year high school reunion coming up and are having the equivalent of a mid-life crisis about where you’re at in life. It’s relatable!!! Sort of.

Here’s the lowdown on how exactly black peeper shielders can help you out:

• Reliable: These flattering designs are the sick California hip-hop icon to your 2010s pop star in an expensive wig. They’re always there when you need them—and probably dropping a sick verse on top of it. Black sunnies are the equivalent of a little black dress. You simply will not find someone who looks bad in these classic styles!!!
• Shielding the Evil: Slipping on the perfect pair of black sunglasses is like hitting the “Do Not Disturb” button on life. There’s a lot of evil out there, and we know we’re OVER witnessing it. Slap these shades on your face, and you’re one step closer to eternal bliss. 
• Glare, Who???: With polarization as their superpower, these dark knights banish glare to the shadow realm (we heard Carl the Flamingo went there once, and he hasn’t been the same since). Polarized lenses are essential for UV protection and maintaining optimal eyesight, so protect those peepers properly.
• Functional: Tailor-made with the resilience of Carl’s journey back to the human world, these shades are built to withstand life's plot twists. From accidental drops during your early morning gremlin crawl to the coffee shop to being the buffer between you and the insults your frenemy passive-aggressively throws at you, these pairs of sunglasses are in it for the long haul.

What Are the Top 7 Black Sunglasses?

Alright, we’ve been yapping for a while. Let’s chat about the best black sunnies on the market. Yes, they’re obviously fresh out of goodr HQ. 

Our picks are sure to make your high school bully do a double-take at the 10-year reunion. Drumroll, pleeeease:

1. Mick and Keith's Midnight Ramble

If the unexpected, Cali-cool vibe a midnight rendezvous exudes was tangible, it would be in the form of this pair of sunglasses. These mirrored lenses are the physical embodiment of a way-too-long guitar riff in the dark, designed for superior protection from the aggressive hip-thrusting you might witness from that elderly man on stage. How does he still do it? We don’t know!!!

The special grip coating is a sure-fire bonus, ensuring no amount of headbanging—or shoving the guy next to you who won’t stop bumping into you at the concert—will send them flying.

2. Whiskey Shots with Satan

Concocted in the depths of a fiery abyss, these amber-lensed beauties are the perfect choice for a face-off with the underworld... or just a really bright day. They're the armor you strap on when you're not ready to take on the world, so you take a whiskey shot instead.

The non-slip adjustable nose pads will keep these peeper protectors on your face, even when you’re running through the abyss to escape the Overlord. 

3. Vincent's Absinthe Night Terrors

These are definitely the sunglasses a certain famous painter would’ve worn while painting his little paintings (Rest in Peace, Vince… you would’ve loved goodr). 

The teal-tinted lenses are ideal for dodging the attacks of the dreaded green fairies. Black frames make them versatile enough to wear on any occasion, whether you’re escaping your recurring nightmares or heading to the beach to sip on strawberry daiquiris with a pack of WAY too-chill flamingos. 

4. Midnight Ramble at Circle Bar

Strap in for a ride through the neon-lit labyrinth of Circle Bar. These hipster-haloed, blue-lensed baddies are your ticket to the silent disco. We’re not really sure what a silent disco is, but we’ve heard they’re all the rage.

You can bump, grind, and gyrate in these pastel lenses. They won’t slide off. Trust us, we’ve tested it.

5. Operation: Blackout

Stealth mode: activated. These are the aviator sunglasses you wear when five men in suits show up at your door and tell you it’s time to complete the mission. You don’t even have to pretend to know what the mission is… the sunglasses will instantly make them trust you.

These oversized frames are also equipped with polarized lenses, non-slip nose pads, blah blah blah. You know the drill.

6. Hooked on Onyx

We know, you want sunglasses as dark as onyx stones. That’s why you’re here. Don’t worry. We’re here to grace your face with the black sunnies you’ve been needing.

Also, you're in luck if you have an astronomically large noggin. They’re a part of our BFG collection, so this larger style of sunglasses is perfect for the behemoth melons among us. A true testament to the idea that size truly does matter when it comes to fashion. Sorry, fellas’. 

7. Beelzebub's Bourbon Burpees

Ah, the divine torment of a bourbon-fueled burpee session—where the fire in your muscles meets the fire in your belly after one too many shots. 

This pair of shades is a nice option for larger heads, and are the physical manifestation of that glorious burn, a tribute to all the sweat-drenched Grade A Certified Baddies™️ out there. With a grip that sticks like the sins you’ve committed and fashion that's as hot as hellfire, the futuristic vibe of this standout choice is your ticket to the sickest club in the underworld. Just don’t forget to wear sunscreen, we heard it’s scorching down there.

What Are Styling Tips for Black Sunnies?

You’re feeling better about seeing your former bully at the high school reunion now that you’re equipped with the sickest shades in town. But WAIT, you just have your sunnies!!! What about the REST OF YOU???

Well, we’re here to help. Here’s how to make sure you’re cool everywhere else, not just on your face:

• Era Hopping: Black sunglasses are your time machine. You don’t even need that old guy with the weird hair to take you back a few decades. Wear a black leather jacket reminiscent of the 50s, or rock them with some sequin bell bottoms. We don’t care. We know you’ll look mother flockin’ awesome.
• Bold Moves Only: Use this must-have accessory as the pillar of your boldest looks. Want to dress as a rodeo clown who was just told they’ve lost their job? These peeper protectors will allow you to cry in style. You may be an unemployed clown, but you’re an unemployed clown with some sick shades and a strong rockabilly vibe… that’s all that matters.
• Sunglasses…Not On Your Face?: On days when the sun decides to kick back and take a break, let your black sunglasses rest on your head or dangle from your shirt. They’re that versatile. Talk about fashionable, fun, AND functional!!! 

Roll Out the Red Carpet

When life gives you lemons, just wear the d*mn black sunglasses. Our most promising sunglasses contenders have polarized lenses, non-slip nose pads, and are fashionable, functional, & fun. They’re also ‘ffordable as f*ck, so there’s no excuse not to jump on getting a pair of these peeper shielders immediately. It’s also illegal not to own a pair of versatile black shades (don’t quote us on that one—we aren’t liable). 

The rocket scientists at goodr HQ want to see you thrive, and it’s impossible to NOT thrive with a pair of black sunnies in your accessory collection. We also know you’ll look good in whatever sunnies are blessed enough to grace your glorious melon, so check out our full collection while we have your attention. 

We wish you the best of luck at your high school reunion. Maybe you’ll get a chance to beat Kevin on the court later and get your sweet, sweet 16-year-old-self revenge. Here’s to holding grudges!!!