Golden Lasso Glassos | A Story About Wonder Woman Sunglasses – goodr sunglasses

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GOLDEN LASSO GLASSOS ORIGIN STORY

FIVE FAMOUS COWBOYS REVIEW WONDER WOMAN’S LASSO OF TRUTH

Amazonian demi-goddess Wonder Woman has an arsenal of cutting-edge technology, including Bracelets of Submission, an invisible plane and an espresso machine so she never has to go to Starbucks again. (Last time she went, the barista spelled her name “Winder Woman” on the cup. Ugh. WTF.)

However, Princess Diana’s most famous weapon is the Lasso of Truth, aka Magic Lasso, aka Lasso of Hestia aka Lasso McLassoson. The golden lariat forces all who touch it into submission and compels them to tell the truth. But what do lasso experts think about the device? We asked five famous cowboys.

SHERIFF WOODY

“Gosh! I never saw a glowing lasso before! That’s handy. You’d never lose that at night! And it’s so long. Reminds of this lasso Andy had as a teenager. He used to go in the closet alone and play with it all the time. I don’t know what he was doing in there, but it sounded like he was having fun!”

BILLY THE KID

“OMG. I can’t even. How long does that take to kill someone, a year??? Uh, no thanks??? I’ll, like, stick to my guns??? When it comes to catching bodies, Colt is Gucci and Winchester is the GOAT. No cap. And why is it, like glowing? That is so extra. BIG YIKES. Periodt.”

YOSEMITE SAM

“GREAT HORNY TOADS! IF I HAD THAT HOOTIN’ TOOTIN’ LASSO I’D THROW IT AT THAT LONG-EARED GALOOT! AND THEN HE’D CATCH IT AND THROW IT BACK ON ME AND ASK IF I REALLY WANT TO KILL HIM! AND I’D SAY NO, BY GAR! I ACT LIKE I HATES RABBITS BUT DEEP DOWN I LOVE THAT VARMINT WITH ALL OF MY HOOTIN’ TOOTIN’ HEART! THAT SWEET LITTLE PERKA-LURKEN-BRICKEN-BRACKEN-FRACKEN-FERKIN….”

THE MAN WITH NO NAME

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...............................................................................................................................................it’s ok.”

LIL NAS X

“I saw the lasso and it’s crack. I’d buy it in a flash. I wish it came in black. Yes, I’d spend all my cash. But it’s not in stores, ha. Di-Di, lend me yours. I want to see if my label’s lying ‘bout how much I make on tours. Can't nobody tell me nothiiiin'. You can't tell me nothiiiin'. Can't nobody tell me nothiiiin'. Oh, wait, I already said thaaaat.”

Like America’s greatest cowboy Lil Nas X, we all wish we had Wonder Woman’s Lasso of Truth. Unfortunately, she refuses to lend it out, but you can get the next best thing: Golden Lasso Glassos.

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Golden Lasso Glassos

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