LOST LEONARDO DA VINCI PAINTING DISCOVERED: “PORTRAIT OF A RAGE QUITTER”
While renovating Leonardo Da Vinci’s 15th century palace Château du Clos Lucé, officials discovered a secret “man cave” in the basement. Amidst the lyres, wine bottles and “Flamin’ Hot” apple fritters, they found a journal. The pages contain sketches of video game systems, notes for “energizing drinks” and a painting: “Portrait of a Rage Quitter.”
The artwork features a young man wearing Rage Quit and Hit It sunglasses angrily quitting a Fall Guys-like game. Outraged by a loss, he swings a chair to destroy the TV. On the floor, the video game system and controller lie in pieces. Meanwhile, a companion who looks very similar to the figure in Edvard Munch’s “The Scream” screams in agony.
“Da Vinci predicted parachutes, telescopes, and robots, so it’s no surprise he’d predict video games, sunglasses, and The Scream,” said Renaissance art expert/cat lady Gheresa Tarcia. “The painting represents the folly of man. Instead of listening to reason, we succumb to our emotions, pursuing cycles of self-destruction, destroying what we love.”
“Also,” Tarcia added, “Fall Guys is like really f*cking hard, OMG. Like, I can’t even.”
DON'T RAGE QUIT NOW!
Blue Shades of Death Origin Story
Do not panic. According to our IT Guy, the solution is to turn the sunglasses off, then turn them back...
Professional Respawner Origin Story
Dear Hiring Manager, As an impatient gamer who rushes into battles without any real plan, and a stubborn perfectionist...
Wakka Wakka Wakka Wakka Origin Story
Hello! -- Wakka! Where is the bathroom? -- Wakka wakka wakka wakka? Do you speak English? -- Wakka wakka wakka...
