DO YOU EVEN PISTOL, FLAMINGO? ORIGIN STORY
It’s obvious that the flamingo would be the best at pistols in all of the animal kingdom. The flamingos around the world take so much pride in their pistoling ability that they hold The Flamingo CrossFit Games annually every August in Wisconsin with 98% of the WODs including absurd amounts of pistols (these are one-legged squats for those of you not familiar with box jargon). Nobody ever really knew why the flamboyance chose Wisconsin, as there are no native flamingos in these parts. Assumption is that it has to do with cheap flights.
In order to qualify for the Flamingo CrossFit Games the flamingos must complete all 5 Open Workouts. The top 35 male flamingos, and 35 lady flamingos advance to the Games. By the way, $35 dollars is also the price of these pink sunglasses… Coincidence? We think not.
We’ll give you a taste of the pistol madness with the first workout of the 2020 Flamingo Games Open. Note: In order for your qualifying time to be considered, all workouts must be recorded with a selfie stick.
135 MINUTE EMOM (AKA DEATH BY PISTOLS [...IF YOU’RE NOT A BAMF FLAMINGO]
Minute 1: 1 pistol per side
Minute 2: 2 pistols per side
Minute 3: 3 pistols per side
Minute 4: 4 pistols per side
Minute 5: 5 pistols per side
…Continue increasing your pistol count per side by one rep for 135 minutes or until the clock catches you.
Score is the last minute you completed your required reps. If you get to 135 minutes and have yet to be caught by the clock you are a total BAMF because that means you did 270 fucking pistols in a minute. The Guinness Book of World Records states that the most single-legged squats completed by a human in a minute is 52, accomplished in 2016. The record for a flamingo is 212 total reps, which is expected to be broken by Martina Fraymen, a Chilean Flamingo, in the 2020 Flamingo CrossFit Games.
Ain’t nobody can pistol like a flamingo.