“I was enjoying a drink at the clubhouse’s outdoor bar after one of my many, MANY ‘A Games’ when an attractive dishwater blonde walked up to the bar…
“‘Ooh, what’s that you’re drinking?’ the blonde purred, a sultry gleam in their eye.
“‘A little drink I invented,’ I said. ‘Three parts iced tea. One part lemonade. Don’t tell my mother, but sometimes I like to add a healthy splash of vodka.’ I chuckled. ‘Here, try a sip! I promise I don’t have cooties.’
“The blonde took a long sip with their eyes closed and head tilted back. They let out a satisfied *AHH* and placed the now empty glass back on the bar.
“‘That was incredible…what did you call it again?’ they asked.
“‘Well, I actually didn’t say, but I call it a Three Parts Tee,’ I said. ‘It’s kind of my signature drink here at the club. Everyone knows I invented it.’
“‘I’d love for you to tell me more about it, stud,’ the blonde said flirtatiously, twisting a lock of golden hair around their finger.
“*BEEP BEEP*
“I was just about to ask for their digits when a golf cart pulled up, and the driver motioned for them to get in.
“‘Oops! Gotta run!’ they giggled and hopped in the cart. The golf cart drove into the sunset as I stood there, dumbstruck by the animal magnetism pulsating through my body.
“‘Hey Carl, can I get you another drink?’ the bartender asked. ‘Carl? Earth to Carl!’ The bartender chuckled and snapped his fingers in front of my face.
“‘Who was that magnificent creature?!’ I inquired, stars dancing in my eyes.
“‘Are you kidding?! That was Arnold Palmer!!!’ The bartender laughed, shaking his head as he walked away to make me another drink.
“And that’s how good ol’ Arnie stole my signature drink that made him world famous. Forget about golf. Everyone knows it’s all about the beverage.”
“Carl, that story is total B.S.!!! That drink was invented before you were out of diapers.” The whole goodr office let out a collective groan.
“When are we going to stop wasting meeting time listening to your ridiculous delusions so we can actually get some work done?!” Lizzy-Shea piped up.
“Oh, you’re looking for MORE work to do, Lizzy-Shea?!” Carl demanded. “Why don’t you make yourself useful and make a pair of sunglasses that are so drippin’ with style they’ll haunt our customers with insatiable thirst for 69 years!!! YES!!! I’VE GOT IT!!!
“They’ll be called Three Parts Tee,” Carl continued, “and they’ll look like MY signature drink!!! MY SIGNATURE DRINK. Not that hack’s half-and-half version that doesn’t even have vodka in it!!! YES!!! Brown gradient shades with polarized high contrast lenses, perfect for sipping iced tea and lemonade on the golf course or slamming shots in the clubhouse. A neutral frame with an ombre-like fade that looks like it’s made from three parts tea and one part lemonade. Let’s watch him try to take THAT away from me, huh?! He may have been a legendary golfer, but I am the sunglasses mogul here!!!”
Thus, Three Parts Tee was born. Splash of vodka and Carl-cooties not included.
