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Side Scroll Eye Roll Origin Story

Side Scroll Eye Roll Origin Story

10 SYMPTOMS OF SIDE SCROLL EYE ROLL DISEASE
If you play side-scrolling video games, then you are at high risk for contracting Side Scroll Eye Roll Disease. Here are 10 common symptoms:

Your eyes constantly roll from left to right, no matter how much you fight against it.
You feel an overwhelming desire to take mushrooms and jump in a sewer pipe.
You hallucinate an anthropomorphic fox with two tails who JUST. WON’T. GO. AWAY.
You think turning sideways makes you invisible.
You feel like you peaked in the 90s and no one really cares about you these days.
You insist everyone address you as “Alucard.” Then you start giggling and sputter “Get it? Get it?!?!?! Read it backwards!!!!! Ha ha ha! Hee hee hee!”
You start walking like a gorilla and develop a crippling addiction to bananas. There’s nothing you won’t do for a banana. Nothing.
While speaking to others, you stop mid-sentence, hold up a sign that says “Insert Coin To Continue” and open your mouth.
You smell just like an explorer who spends all of his time in maze-like jungles swinging on vines over pits, quicksand and crocodiles.
You do not own Side Scroll Eye Roll sunglasses. Because Side Scroll Eye Roll Eye sunglasses cure Side Scroll Eye Roll Disease. Ask any scientist. Actually, no, don’t. Don’t talk to anyone. Just believe everything you read on the Internet and don’t think about it. YOU HAVE NO WILL OF YOUR OWN.

THE ORIGINALS

THE SUNNIES THAT STARTED IT ALL

A man and woman wearing hot pink sunglasses with teal lenses laugh while lounging on a tropical beach. Three-quarter angle view of pink sunglasses with teal reflective lenses.

Flamingos On A Booze Cruise

A woman in a garden fiercely stares off wearing purple sunglasses with green reflective lenses, holding a purple garden trow. Three-quarter angle view of square-shaped sunglasses with purple frames and reflective green polarized lenses.

Gardening With A Kraken

Swedish Meatball Hangover-The OGs-RUN goodr-4-goodr sunglasses Swedish Meatball Hangover-The OGs-RUN goodr-1-goodr sunglasses

Swedish Meatball Hangover

A woman in a bright orange outfit stands on a football field wearing bright orange sunglasses with blue mirrored lenses. Three-quarter angle view of translucent bright orange sunglasses with blue reflective lenses on a white background.

Donkey Goggles

ORIGIN STORIES

THE STORY BEHIND THE SHADES

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