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Naeon Flux Capacitor Origin Story

Naeon Flux Capacitor Origin Story

ANSWERS TO 3 BATSH*T CRAZY QUESTIONS ABOUT NAEON-FLUX CAPACITOR SUNGLASSES
This week we were super excited to release our new, futuristic line of VRG sunglasses. That is, until we checked our email, and saw some weirdos had batsh*t crazy questions about the Naeon Flux Capacitor style. Here’s what we wrote back:
Dear goodr,

So sorry to see you are selling Naeon Flux Capacitor sunglasses. Since you are telling people to go back in time and bone their mom, I will not be purchasing your products. It’s fine for individual employees to go back in time and bone their mom, but not to tell customers to go back in time and bone your mom as part of a campaign.

America is a great country and I don’t want to go back in time and bone my mom. And I certainly hope no future children of mine come back in time to bone me. Shame on you. Why are you encouraging me to go back in and bone my mom?!?!

Sincerely,

Ethel

Dear Ethel,

Thanks for reaching out! We’re so sorry to hear our Naeon Flux Capacitor sunglasses are so offensive to you, as this was not our intent.

Here at goodr, we do not encourage consumers to go back in time and bone their mom. We encourage consumers to go back in time and BONE SOMEONE. We don’t care who. Just get your freak on.

Thank you,

goodr

Dear goodr,
I am OUTRAGED you are selling shades called Naeon Flux Capacitor. That name encourages children to become tall scantily clad nihilistic anarchist acrobatic assassins. And I want my children to be short obese bundled-up existentialist fascist clumsy hippies. When I read “Naeon Flux Capacitor,” I was so startled, I spilled my coffee. Can you send me a new coffee?

Best,

Tucker

Dear Tucker,

No.

Thank you,

goodr

Dear Goodr,
HOW DARE YOU!?!?!??!! THE NAME “NAEON FLUX CAPACITOR” IS AN ABOMINATION!!!! PORTMANTEAUS ARE EVIL! EVIL, I SAY! FIRST THEY MADE “CHORTLE” FROM “CHUCKLE” AND “SNORT.” THEN THEY MADE “SMOG” FROM “SMOG” AND “FOG.” THEN THEY MADE “BRUNCH” FROM “BREAKFAST” AND “LUNCH.” WHEN DOES IT END?! WHEN DOES IT ALL END?!?!??!?!

Yours,

Quinn

Dear Quinn,

It’s “goodr,” not “Goodr.” We quit reading after that. Spell our name right if you want a response.

F*ck off,

goodr

THE FUTURE IS BRIGHT

SHOP THESE ULTRA FUTURISTIC SHADES

BEST SELLER A man wearing black flat single-lens sunglasses looks down to the side, determined. Three-quarter angle view of futuristic-looking black sunglasses with a non-reflective black flat single lens.

The Future is Void

Best Dystopia Ever |Blue futuristic style sunglasses with purple lenses | goodr sunglasses Best Dystopia Ever |Blue futuristic style sunglasses with purple lenses | goodr sunglasses

Best Dystopia Ever

BEST SELLER A woman with brown curly hair and bangs, wearing black square shaped sunglasses with reddish-orange reflective lenses A pair of single lens goodr sunglasses with gray frames and orange/yellow reflective lenses on a white background.

Voight-Kampff Vision

SHOP ALL VRG

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ORIGIN STORIES

THE STORY BEHIND THE SHADES

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