AN EXTREME POEM TO AN EXTREME MOTHER
I SKYDIVED INTO A F^&*ING VOLCANO
LANDED ON MY TUNGSTEN SURFBOARD
RODE WAVES OF LAVA, SCREAMED, “AIN’T NO-
-BODY WHO IS THIS HARDCORE!!”
MA SAID, “THAT’S NICE.”
I DROVE A RACECAR OFF OF A SKYSCRAPER ROOF,
LANDED ON A SMALLER SKYSCRAPER ROOF,
LANDED ON A MEDIUM-SIZE BUILDING’S ROOF,
THEN HIT THE GROUND SMOOTH, DID NOT EVEN SAY “OOF.”
MA SAID, “THAT’S NICE.”
I CRUSHED KITZBÜHEL'S STREIF ON HAHNENKAMM MOUNTAIN
ONE OF THE MOST DANGEROUS DOWNHILL SKI LANDS
90 MILES PER HOUR, 260 FOOT JUMPS – COUNT ‘EM!!!
WHILE SCREAMING, “LOOK MA, NO HANDS!”
MA SAID, “THAT’S NICE.”
I GAVE MA ONE PAIR OF goodr SUNGLASSES,
WRAP G, EXTREME WRAPAROUND LENS
AND SAID “YOU MAKE OTHER MAs LOOK LIKE DUMBASSES,
I LOVE YOU. HOPE YOUR LIFE NEVER ENDS.”
MA SAID, “THAT’S NICE…JUST KIDDING. I LOVE YOU TOO, DUMMY. THANKS FOR THE EXTREMELY SWEET SHADES!!!”
