Lilac It Like That Origin Story
The incredible research scientists at goodr have once again written a quiz to ascertain top-secret things about your sunglasses destiny. Please answer these questions honestly so that your results are truthful and accurate:
1. Please choose your ideal date:
A. romantic candlelight dinner, followed by a walk on the beach, then a makeout session with Carl the Flamingo
B. Ordering your favorite takeout and watching Lifetime Movie Network films starring Meredith Baxter while your date massages your feet
C. Going axe throwing and drinking craft beers that you pretend to like to impress your date even though they taste like skunk piss
2. What is your favorite meal?
A. Trying something new, like the Korean Mexican fusion place run by stoners that just opened up in the hepcat part of town
B. Something comforting, like any and every carb smothered in cheese, and/or gravy
C. Something light and fresh, like sushi or Mediterranean
3. What is your favorite book genre?
A. Something spooky and mysterious. Get in loser, we’re going to Murderville!!!
B. A cheesy romance novel that helps you escape from your dry, mousy existence
C. Non-fiction. Why would you want to read about stupid crap that’s not real?!
4. What is your favorite way to spend a weekend afternoon?
A. Grooming your cat while watching reruns of 21 Jump Street. Then spending the rest of the day trying to cough up a hairball.
B. Doing something active, like going geocaching in the local mountains
C. Going shopping to find THE perfect bathmat. You will not stop until it’s perfect!!! PERFECT!!!
5. When your date brings you flowers, you…
A. Immediately take a photo and post it to your IG account to make all of your single friends jealous
B. Secretly get pissed that they brought you yellow roses instead of red ones. Don’t they know that yellow is the color of friendship?! C. Are delighted. Flowers?! That’s sooooo old-fashioned and cute. This one might just be a keeper!!!
6. When your best friend gets a promotion, you:
A. Call the HR department at their job and tell them allll about their home collection of office supplies that they got with their 5-finger discount
B. Spend all day prank calling their new office line so they seem really important to the other employees. Only an important person would get THIS many phone calls!!!
C. Take them out for dinner and drinks to celebrate because you’re not a total psychopath
OK, now it’s time to tally up your score!!! For every “A” you got give yourself 1 point, for every “B” give yourself 2 points, and for every “C” give yourself 3 points.
If you got between 1 and 18 points you will want to check out these new lavender Lilac it Like That!!! sunnies. We know that you will lilac them because these quiz results are 100% accurate. Hey, don’t @ us!!! You took this quiz because you wanted us to tell you what your sunglasses destiny is, and we’re telling you!!! Everyone knows you can’t fight destiny. Look at what happened to Oedipus, you don’t want to end up like Oedipus, right?! (Apparently, we didn’t learn our lesson at our 5th grade birthday party when our “fortune teller” aka our big sister wearing our mom’s hideous 70s caftan and a turban because our parents were too cheap to hire a real fortune teller gave every guest the same fortune. But seriously, who doesn’t want fabulous lavender sunglasses?! Not anyone we’d want to know.)
THE SUNNIES THAT STARTED IT ALL
THE STORY BEHIND THE SHADES