Blue Shades of Death Origin Story

HOW TO FIX THE BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH ON RUNNING SUNGLASSES

While wearing Blue Shades of Death, the dreaded “blue screen of death” may pop up.

blue screen for blue blocker glasses origin story
Do not panic. According to our IT Guy, the solution is to turn the sunglasses off, then turn them back on again. This is also the solution for every computer problem. That’s all our IT Guy does, really -- say “Uhhh, didja try turning it off and on again? [fart]” He’s fantastic.

However, if you would like to address the specific issue, look for the STOP CODE on the blue screen of death. Here’s a list of STOP CODES you may experience:

0x4738293E -- This means there is a mismatch between your behavior and goodr’s values. Embrace fun and authenticity and stop acting like an asshole.

0x9356571F -- This means you spend time looking at the internet on your phone. We are only on this planet for a short amount of time. Look at the real world around you, not the fake world in a blinking box. None of that garbage matters. Except for goodr’s website and all goodr social media accounts.

0x9234114C -- This means that you pissed off goodr CEO Carl the Flamingo in some way and you have to make it up to him by buying him a present. So buy Carl a present.

0x69696969 -- This means someone’s flirting with you, but you’re not flirting back, because you’re an idiot. Stop being an idiot.

0x666X666X -- This BSOD means that Satan is hacking you. That’s mostly what he does all day -- makes electronics, machines and sunglasses crash. Click your heels three times and say “There’s no place like Hell, there’s no place like Hell, there’s no place like Hell.” You will appear in the 9th Circle, have whiskey shots with Satan and return home unharmed.

This should solve all blue shades of death-related issues. And to answer your question, yes, we could make the sunnies better so the operating system doesn’t crash all the time, but that would cost more money, so we’re not going to do it. We love money. Not you.