Impromptu Disco Nap Origin Story
Tammy was sitting at her vanity, trying to muster up the energy to go out after work. She looked in the mirror and tugged at the dark bags under her eyes. “Ugh, my eyes feel like two hot coals burning in a face made of wax.”
She thought she heard a faint giggle coming from somewhere in her bedroom but brushed it off when she noticed her cat Scrumptious hadn’t reacted at all. She began speaking to the mirror again, “Great. Now you’re hearing things.” Sigh, “What is wrong with you?! When you were young and spritely, you could stay out ALL night dancing and drinking ‘til closing time, then scamper off to the all-night diner for a pipe-clogging breakfast before staggering home and flopping down in bed still in your bar-hopping clothes. After a couple of hours of crappy sleep, you would still show up to work all bright and squirrely and ready to conquer the day for your idiot boss.”
“Ugh, Scrumptious!!! Now that I’m totally over the hill, I feel like I’m going to die when the alarm clock goes off. If this is what twenty-eight feels like, what’s forty going to feel like?! Wait, did you hear that?!” She paused and listened for a minute, sure she’d heard the giggling again…then continued babbling.
“All I did last night was drink two glasses of red wine before passing out in front of Bridgerton at 9:45. I had three cups of coffee this morning, and I’m STILL falling asleep. Oh, and Cathy from accounting came by my desk this morning to see if I wanted to come out tonight with the gang to check out the live music at that new club everyone is talking about. I didn’t want to seem like a lame old bag, so I pretended to be excited and enthusiastically agreed to go. Oh, and did I mention this could FINALLY be my chance to socialize with that hot snack that just transferred from the Scranton office? And even though I’d really like to just stay in tonight to test out my new steam mop, I just KNOW that if I don’t go, Hillary, the office mattress, will get her claws in him, and I’ll NEVER have a chance!!!” She *hmphed* and pouted in the mirror.
As she stared into the mirror, her reflection began to warp. The mirror’s surface began to ripple like water, and a hot pink glowing outline formed at its edges, just like a fantasy scene from Saved By the Bell. Suddenly, Carl the Flamingo appeared in the mirror. Scrumptious hissed and ran out of the room.
“Carl, Carl the Flamingo?! From goodr?! What the heck are you doing here?!” she asked, flabbergasted.
“What’s up, geez?! Heyyyy, sooo this mirror actually used to belong to me. It’s a long story, but this witch I was dating enchanted me into the mirror when she found out I was engaged, and then she threw me…Well, it, in a dumpster. You know, you should really be more selective when dumpster diving. Haven’t you heard there’s a bedbug epidemic?! Anyway, I’m kind of stuck in here, and I didn’t have any plans tonight, so I thought it’d be fun to make you think your place was haunted…But I can see you CLEARLY need my help. First, we HAVE to do something about this atrocious outfit.” Carl snapped his feathered fingers. Tammy was instantly transformed from a frumpy, elastic-waistbanded slob goblin into a stylish, glittering disco goddess worthy of VIP entry at any exclusive nightclub.
“Oops! Almost forgot the shades.” Carl snapped his fingers again and she was suddenly sporting a pair of translucent grey retro square aviator frames with dreamy orange ocean lenses.
“Hey, what are these?! I’ve never seen these on goodr.com!!!” she asked excitedly.
“They’re NEW Retro Gs! This pair is called Impromptu Disco Nap. Which, by the way, is something you desperately need to start doing if you don’t want to be doomed to feel like a tired old shoe for the rest of your life. It’s when you take a power nap during the day so you actually have energy to go out at night. Now, you’d better get going, or you’re gonna be late!” Carl shooed her out the door as best he could from behind the mirror.
As she reached the doorway, Tammy looked back and said, “Oh, Carl? Don’t wait up.” She winked, then disappeared into the night.
