WHAT ARE THE BEST SUNGLASSES FOR MEN?
What are the best men’s sunglasses? Ah yes, a tough question indeed. Carl, goodr’s CEO flamingo, was challenged with this question by a new employee at last Tuesday’s flock meeting. After looking totally stupefied by the inquiry he squawked out these thoughtful remarks with rapid fire verbal diarrhea like you’ve never heard before. (The new craft nitro cold brew on tap in the office gets the best of us sometimes…) Luckily, our flaminglist was able to translate Carl’s hipster-caffeinated word vomit. So, in the words of Carl, here’s the answer to the question that you probably just Googled...
You stand before me and ask, “What are the best sunglasses for men?” Are you flocking serious?!! Do you even know who you work for!??? GOODR OF COURSE! I’m so glad you asked though. I know you’re thinking that I am mega biased, and that’s fair. But let me explain to you why goodr has crafted the best sunglasses for men.
SHOP MEN'S SUNGLASSES
Don't be a fool, goodr is cool
First! Let’s reflect on goodr’s four Fs. FUN. FASHIONABLE. FUNCTIONAL. FFFORDABLE. “Affordable” is tricky to pronounce with a beak. You try it. Oh wait, you can’t because of your floppy human flesh lips. We believe here at goodr that in order to be the best, these four Fs are a must. It’s that simple, and these are the principles our men’s sunglasses are made of. Let’s break it down to funky town >>
Why do it if it’s not fun? For those of you Enneagram fans, yes, we eat that shit up for breakfast here at goodr (and for those of you that don’t, it’s a helpful personality assessment we use to deepen our engagement with one another), we love Type 7s fun-focused mentality. Things we find fun include running, cycling, golfing, lawn darts, CrossFit, beerfests, piña colada fests, shrimp eating competitions, and being successful in what we set out to do just to name a few. The best men’s sunglasses should be able to ‘hang’ on all of life’s greatest adventures, and ultimately, not just ‘hang,’ but contribute to the party.
For example, if your sunglasses are bouncing around and slipping off of your face during your first marathon, do you think you’ll have fun?! H-E-double-hockey-sticks no! Bouncing sunglasses is annoying when walking across a standard sized crosswalk, let alone during a four hour run. Now, imagine dealing with sunglasses that aren’t specifically made for running AND enduring a pesky-constantly-popping-out-of-your-ear earbud and bad Spotify playlist while on this inaugural marathon... These are the things that turn this old flamingo from a happy pink hue to fire red with RAGE. We’ve taken care of at least the optical part of the equation with our no slip, no bounce design. Enter polarized lenses and now the glare is cut too! No squinting and strained eyes = more fun.
When it comes to your next bike ride, we believe we’ve made the best sunglasses for cycling thanks to our ride ready style; our Super Flys line has wraparound wide lenses. These keep the wind from drying your eyes out while setting that new downhill record in town, but also help prevent dirt and bugs from flying right into your poor unsuspecting peepers.
“Why is it more fun to wear sunglasses during lawn darts?” Oh, Chad, thank you so much for asking. POP QUIZ:
In an eight year period, lawn darts sent _______ people to the emergency room:
Hint: Who is the best character in Always Sunny in Philadelphia? And the answer is… Dee! Majority of these injuries were to the head. Just another reason to take eye protection really seriously or someone might lose an eye.
Goodr sunglasses are hands down the best sunglasses for men because they are fashionable! We’ve seen dudes rock our sunnies from mountain bike rides to weddings in the same day. Look fresh driving through town, you never know who you might run into at the gas station... Any time there is a bright light bothering your eyes is a good time to wear sunglasses. And let’s face it, we don’t always look our best. A friend once saw Taylor Swift at the grocery store, rockin’ her red lipstick like she just stepped out of her latest music video. Not realistic for the average Joe. Pop on a pair of fashionable goodr sunglasses and instantly elevate to star status without the expense of extra pampering. It’s actually pretty simple to look goodr for all occasions.
It should be noted that when we say fashionable we’re not referencing gaudy bling bling labels and rhinestone embellishments. There is a time and place for that and we’ve found that the majority of dudes aren’t looking for that kind of flair on a daily basis.
We also have developed a style of polarized sunglasses specifically for men in mind. The OG line falls more in the gender neutral territory when it comes to sizing, however, we realize that not all skulls are the same size. Generally, male skulls are heavier, the bone is thicker, and the areas where the muscles attach are more defined than in females. The forehead, eyes and jaw, are also differntiating characteristics between men and women when it comes to determining the sex of a skull. With that, we developed the BFGs, or Big F*cking Goodrs. With wider frames, longer arms, and bigger lenses than our OGs, these babies are designed to complement and fit humans with larger melons or those looking for more coverage. We can’t forget fashion rule #32 when talking about the BFGs: bigger really is better.
You’ve heard of PEDs, performance enhancement drugs. goodr’s sunglasses for men are PESs. Performance enhancement sunglasses. Thankfully no sports organizations are testing for this yet, so no fears of getting banned from the community Father’s Day 5K. Sunglasses offer a defense against dirt and debris when you are riding a bicycle or out for a jog. They reduce eyestrain and the formation of wrinkles caused by squinting in bright light. Worn at the appropriate time with the right lenses, sunglasses actually do help you see better.
For example, with our golf sunglasses, we use Flamingo Eye™ Technology. Also known as, extremely thoughtful, golf-specific, lenses, which create killer HD contrast. This high contrast view is crucial for spotting the ball from tee off to the moment it sinks into the hole.
SHOP FLAMINGO EYE™ TECHNOLOGY
HD Contrast Lenses
As you’ve heard, goodr sunglasses are no slip, no bounce, and all polarized. It doesn’t get much more functional than that.
“Holllddd uppp… did you say polarized?! But aren’t goodr’s price points like $25 and $35 dollars? How can you have polarized sunglasses for that price?” This is actually a great question. Polarized sunglasses are sunglasses that have lenses with a specific polarized filter. And no! It’s not just a coating, it is an actual physical layer within the lens. Let’s break it down real smooth:
The sun shines.The sun’s light scatters!The sun’s light reflects off of flat surfaces in an intense horizontal path causing glare, or electromagnetic vibration.The glare annoys you and makes it harder to see.You put on goodrs!The polarization filters the reflected light into the vertical frame, meaning that the glare is cut down, your eyes can rest, everything looks crisper.
Let’s look deeper at #6, “your eyes can rest.” This is important because eye fatigue is a direct trigger for headaches and migraines… which nobody has time for. What causes this eye fatigue? Your pupils are constantly expanding and contracting while they adjust to a changing angle and intensity of light. That shit gets exhausting.
Sunglasses should probably just be considered medical devices. Think about it for a sec… we put sunscreen on when we go to the beach, it’s equally important to protect your eyes. Yeah, go ahead and put sunscreen on your peepers, that’ll be a fun experiment! To protect our eyes further from the sun, goodr sunglasses have UV400 protection. This isn’t a lens coating, it’s another layer in the lens. Freaking magic right??! UV400 protection blocks 99%-100% of the sun’s harmful ultraviolet light, electromagnetic radiation bustin’ through the ozone layer no matter what time of year it is. This light comes down in UVA and UVB rays, and guess what? goodr sunglasses block it all! ALL HAIL FUNCTIONALITY!
Raise your hand if you’ve lost or broken a pair of sunglasses in a foolish manner? Yup, that’s what I figured… half of you should really consider not having children. I get it though, it happens. The dog eats them, a kraken emerges from the depths of the sea while you’re stand up paddle boarding and rips them off of your face, a whole plethora of things can go wrong. Now imagine if those were $300+ sunglasses that you just lost. Would you cry? I might. Here at goodr, we believe that there are far more devastating things to shed a tear over. The loss of Pluto as a planet, the sight of baby Yoda, I mean, come on guys. These are the things that really matter in life! So gentlemen, why spend so much on sunglasses that you bought to do rad, active things in, where the chance of injury or disappearance is high?!
And we conclude this long-winded answer with a quote from a man, “What do I want in my sunglasses? I want sunglasses that look cool, perform while I’m doin’ my thang, protect my eyes from the sun, and if I lose them, I don’t want to cry over them-- because crying over sunglasses seems silly.” Someone send this man some goodrs!
Phew… what a great teaching moment. Whoever asked that question, thank you. The truth is, whether you’re looking for fun, fashion, function, or affordability, goodr’s men’s sunglasses do it all and do it well. Meeting adjourned, drinks at The Cabana!
Carl (the Flamingo)