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goodrTIMES

ARE YOU A HUMAN OR A ROBOT? TAKE OUR QUIZ!

1. You’re walking through a meadow and see a sheep stuck on its back. You are not helping it. Why?

A. I’m recording a video of it for The Gram.

B. I’m setting my laser eyes to turn it into mutton curry.

C. I’m drunk and using it as a pillow.


2. It’s your birthday and someone gives you a wallet made out of human skin. How do you react?

A. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

B. 10010001000010010011!!!!!

C. Say, “Thank you! It’s about time!”


3. It’s 2 AM and you’re on your computer, doomscrolling. You look up and see a giant spider crawling on your arm. What do you do?

A. Swat it away.

B. Google “What is the normal way for a human to react to a giant spider crawling on their arm?”

C. Eat it


4. You invite your romantic partner over for Thanksgiving to meet your parents. It goes really well. The following weekend, you visit your romantic partner, and there’s a giant painting of your parents naked hanging in the living room. You say:

A. “What the hell is that?!”

B. “That imate is 36.66332% inaccurate. Especially in the dong area.”

C. *EUPHORIC GRUNTS AND MOANS*


5. Your cruise ship sank in the ocean and you’re floating alone on a life raft. You open the supply box, and there’s just bottled water. What will you do for food?

A. Try to catch birds and fish.

B. I don’t need to eat.

C. Order something on Postmates.


6. Describe in single words the good things that come to mind about Voight-Kampff Vision goodr sunglasses.

A. Sleek. Stylish. Fun. Futuristic. Affordable. Fashionable. Sunglassesy.

B. BEEP BOOP BOOP. ERROR! PAGE NOT FOUND! MEEP MORP MEEP MORP

C. Money, money, money, money! Woo! Money!


If you answered mostly A’s: Congratulations! You’re human! One day you’ll die!

If you answered mostly B’s: Congratulations! You’re a robot! One day you’ll kill all humans!

If you answered mostly C’s: Congratulations! You’re goodr CEO Carl the Flamingo.

woman wearing gray futuristic polarized sunglasses holding an object

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