Mint Julep Electroshocks Origin Story

How to Make the Perfect Mint Julep (BEAST goodr style)

If you’ve come looking for a timeless classic cocktail, featuring a pristine balance of sweet and fragment mint, mixed carefully over gently crushed ice and featuring a delicious, aged bourbon from the genteel Southern part of the U.S., then GTFO because this ain’t your cousin’s Derby party.

1-2 mint leaves

1-10 TBSP Sugar (to desired taste)

Bourbon

All of the crushed ice (for the post drink ice bath)

Take the mint and crush the heck out of it with a heavy kettlebell (or use those muscles you’ve been pumping up). Add sugar. Lots of it because it makes everything taste better. Pour in as much of your Grandpappy’s favorite firewater as possible in order for you to be excited about a four day long party to celebrate a race that lasts for 123.14159 seconds. Put in a fancy sterling silver cup. Jump in an ice bath and sip slowly, pinky out.

For extra flavor, put these rad dark green sunglasses on while you do 20 burpees and sip while running through some electrical cords before ice bath. Repeat as needed.