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ORIGIN STORIES
- TROPICAL OPTICALS
- THE DRINKS
- THE PATTERNS
- COSMIC CRYSTALS
- THE MOON
- THE SUN
- VRGs
- THE FUTURE IS VOID
- NAEON FLUX CAPACITOR
- VOIGHT-KAMPFF VISION
- SEE YOU AT THE PARTY, RICHTER
- MACH Gs
- CLUBHOUSE CLOSEOUT
- TALES FROM THE GREENSKEEPER
- AMELIA EARHART GHOSTED ME
- BUZZED ON THE TOWER
- CAPTAIN BLUNT'S RED-EYE
- FREQUENT SKYMALL SHOPPERS
- KITTY HAWKERS' RAY BLOCKERS
- OPERATION: BLACKOUT
- OGs
- A GINGER'S SOUL
- RACE DU JOUR
- THE GANG'S ALL QUEER
- SCREW THE METRIC SYSTEM
- THE EH TEAM
- DON'T FLOCK WITH A FLAMINGO
- LONDON 2021
- L.A. 2021
- TOKYO 2021
- BOSTON 2021
- BIG LEPRECHAUN ENERGY
- IS MERCURY IN RETROGRADE?? AGAIN?
- CARL'S GOT A CANDY HEART ON
- SUNNIES WITH A CHANCE OF SPRINKLES
- THE PASSION OF THE CRUST
- IT'S TUESDAY SOMEWHERE
- WE HAD LIGHTS FIRST
- NAKATOMI TOWER CHRISTMAS PARTY
- WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA
- PROFESSIONAL RESPAWNER
- SIDE SCROLL EYE ROLL
- MODERN DAY SNAKE OIL
- BLUE SHADES OF DEATH
- ELECTRIC DINOTOPIA CARNIVAL
- SILVERBACK SQUAT MOBILITY
- THE EMPIRE DID NOTHING WRONG
- 50 SHADES OF GRAVY
- PUMPKIN SPICE NIGHTMARE
- CHICAGO VS. NYC RAP BATTLE
- PARTY LIKE A FLOCKSTAR
- THESE SHADES ARE TRASH
- PBR EYE CANDY
- PABST O’CLOCK
- PIBBER-MOUFLAGE
- SUCK IT, KING GEORGE
- SORRY, NOT SORRY (BUT ACTUALLY SORRY)
- FLAMINGOS WIN MAJORS
- STAY PAWSITIVE
- LGBTQ+AF
- CAN I TIKI YOUR FANCY?
- DOWN TO FIESTA
- LONDON 2020
- NEW YORK 2021
- BOSTON 2020
- GOBBLE GOBBLE GOBBLES GOGGLES
- DON'T SNAKE MY WAVE BRO
- I'M NOT YOUR BRO BRAH
- DON'T TAB SHAME ME
- RADIOACTIVE SPECTRAL SPECTACLES
- SELLS HOUSE, BUYS VAN
- LOST IN TRANSITION
- BFGs
- HOOKED ON ONYX
- IT'S NOT JUST A GAME
- CITRON+ALT+DELETE
- MINT JULEP ELECTROSHOCKS
- DO YOU EVEN PISTOL, FLAMINGO?
- RUNWAYS
- MARY QUEEN OF GOLF
- RAGE QUIT IT AND HIT IT
- FRESHLY PICKED CERULEAN
- GINGHAM IS SOOO LAST SEASON
- HAUTE DAY IN HELL
- VEGAN FRIENDLY COUTURE
- CHIPS AND SIPS
- FAST AS SHELL
- CIRCLE Gs
- FADE-ER-ADE SHADES
- I'M WEARING BURGUNDY
- IT'S NOT BLACK, IT'S OBSIDIAN
- INSERT COIN TO CONTINUE
- FRESHLY BAKED MAN BUNS
- INFLUENCERS PAY DOUBLE
- I PICKLED THESE MYSELF
- MIDNIGHT RAMBLE AT THE CIRCLE BAR
- NINE DOLLAR POUR OVER
- STRANGE THINGS ARE AFOOT AT THE CIRCLE G
- STOP, DROP AND SCROLL
- BODHI'S ULTIMATE WAVE
- SUPER FLYS
- DIRK'S INFLATION STATION
- WORKIN' IT FROM HOME
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SPORTS
- IN THE WILD
- RUNNING [WITH A DONKEY] IS FUN?
- YOUR BEST RUNNING FRIEND
- THIS IS A GAMER
- FASTEST KNOWN TIME OR FUNNEST KNOWN TIME
- LIVING MY BEST LIFE BEING A MOM FIRST
- WHAT WE TALK ABOUT WHEN NOT TALKING ABOUT RUNNING
- ANIMAL CROSSING ISLAND
- WHAT THE HELL IS A BEAST?
- OFFICIAL SUNGLASSES OF THE OCR WORLD CHAMPIONSHIPS
- SATURDAY MORNING IN THE GRAND CANYON
- A BLIND BEAST KNOWS NO BOUNDARIES
- RUNNING THE BARKLEY IS FUN?
- BIG CAT BADASS
- BUT FIRST HAPPINESS
- LOS PADRES TRAVERSE FKT
- JAVELINA JUNDRED RACE RECAP
- OFFICIAL SUNGLASS PARTNER OF USA WEIGHTLIFTING
- WE'RE AN AVATAR
- GOODR UP YOUR GAME WITH ANIMAL CROSSING PATTERNS
- ON THE FENCE ABOUT SPIN CLASS!?
- PEDICABS IN NYC
- FLAMBOYANCE
- GOODR STAFF DEBUNK THE GAMER STIGMA
- CLG & FRENDZ DEBUNK THE GAMER STIGMA
- THE FLAMBOYANCE DEBUNKS THE GAMER STIGMA
- A GOODR WEDDING
- A CHAT WITH ALEXI PAPPAS
- RACE RECAPS
- IT'S OKAY TO HATE VIRTUAL RACES
- CARL'S TOUR DE FRANCE RECAP 2020
- SPEED PROJECT 2019
- TIPS & TRICKS
- RUNNING WHILE HIGH
- IT'S NOT A BOGEY, IT'S A FLAMINGO
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SHENANIGANS
- IN THE PRESS
- A TALE OF THE GOODR CABANA
- GOODR x REEBOK
- PARTNERING WITH BIGGEST ESPORTS ARENA IN NORTH AMERICA!
- SEASON 03 OF CULTURE GOODR IS OUT
- YOU HAD ME AT DUNKIN'
- TROPICAL OPTICALS
- THE ROLLING STONES X COSMIC CRYSTALS
- COSMIC CRYSTALS
- GOODR REWIND
- THE ROLLING STONES ALBUM SERIES
- CARL'S ANTI-RESOLUTIONS 2021
- THE FUTURE IS VRG
- ROLLING STONES HOT LIPS
- INTRODUCING GAME GOODR
- GAME GOODR PARTNERS WITH CLG
- WONDER WOMAN SEQUEL
- NEW CATEYE SUNGLASSES
- POW! BAM! BATMAN SUNGLASSES!
- GOODR PARTNERS WITH PABST BLUE RIBBON
- WONDER WOMAN 1984 SUNGLASSES
- GOODR RELEASES AVIATORS
- RUNNER'S WORLD GEAR OF THE YEAR
- CARL'S INNER CIRCLE
- goodr GIVES BACK
- GOODR x DENVER ZOO
- JUST FLOCKING VOTE
- BLACK LIVES MATTER
- GOODR x 1% FOR THE PLANET RECYCLED SUNGLASSES
- BRAVE LIKE GABE
- SOCAL SPECIAL OLYMPICS COLLAB
- SUNGLASSES ON THE FRONTLINE
- 100% CARBON NEUTRAL
- BREAKING SILENCE 2019
- BREAKING SILENCE 2020
- BREAKING SILENCE 2021
- FUN
- GIFT GUIDE
- SOLVE FOR $6.66 OFF!
- BEHIND THE DREAMS: THE CIRCLING
- CARL AND HIS IDIOT COUSIN TEDDY
- DUST OFF YOUR LIBRARY CARD
- WHO IS CRAZY EDDY?
- DEEP DIVE
- ARE BLUE BLOCKERS A BLUE MIRAGE?
- THE BEST RUNNING SUNGLASSES GUIDE ON THE ENTIRE INTERNET
- WHY YOU NEED ORANGE SUNGLASSES
- COMPANY CULTURE WHILE WORKING REMOTELY
- GET TRENDY WITH OUR NEW HIPSTER SUNGLASSES
- THE BEST WOMEN’S SUNGLASSES
- BEST GOLF SUNGLASSES
- BEST SUNGLASSES FOR MEN
- NEON SUNGLASSES
- THE BEST PINK SUNGLASSES
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CULTURE
- CULTURE GOODR PODCAST
- S01E01
- S01E02
- BLACKOUT TUESDAY
- S01E03
- S01E04
- S01E05
- S02E01
- S02E02
- S02E03
- S02E04
- S02E05
- S02E06
- S02E07
- S02E08
- S02E09
- S02E10
- BONUS EPISODE 01
- BONUS EPISODE 02
- BONUS EPISODE 03
- BONUS EPISODE 04
- BONUS EPISODE 05
- REMIX SERIES 01
- REMIX SERIES 02
- REMIX SERIES 03
- REMIX SERIES 04
- REMIX SERIES 05
- REMIX SERIES 06
- REMIX SERIES 07
- S03E01
- S03E02
- S03E03
- S03E04
- S03E05
- S03E06
- S03E07
- S03E08
- S03E09
- S03E10
- S03E11
- S03E12
- S03E13
- S03E14
- S03E15
- S03E16
- S03E17
- S03E18
- S03E19
COSMIC CRYSTALS
Celeste Moonbeam is manifesting on the goodrTIMES to tell you all about goodr’s 12 pairs of crystal-bathed sunglasses. Polarized perfection starting at $25.
CELESTE MOONBEAM PRESENTS “COSMIC CRYSTALS”: SUNGLASSES THAT HEAL YOUR SOUL
Grand rising! It is I, Celeste Moonbeam, spiritual healer and world-famous clairvoyant. (I could win the lottery. I just choose not to.) I’m manifesting on the goodrTIMES to tell you I manifested 12 new pairs of crystal-bathed, chakra-cleansing shades into reality. Boy, do I love to manifest things. Sunglasses, dreams, impossible bacon club chalupas--everything.
As all scientists agree, crystal healing is totally legit. Our good health depends on balanced energy in our thoughts, emotions and bodies. Just like my bank account’s good health depends on contributions from Patreon, Cameo and OnlyFans. When those energy patterns are disrupted, we suffer ailments, like headaches, anxiety and physical diseases. (So you didn’t get cold sores from me, Alan! You got them from your own bad energy!!!!!)
You know what else has energy? Energy. I mean, crystals. Grown deep in Mother Earth’s cavity over millions of years, crystals formed from the cooling of magma. Due to environmental conditions, they come in all types of shapes, colors and sizes -- just like my lovers. They’re alive, my sweet star-babies, just like you and me, vibrating with energy, and when you place them on your bodies your souls shall be renewed, and if not buy more!!!!!
My cosmic soul-children, ensconce your chakras in these shades: Tiger’s Eye Gazing; Citrine Mimosa Dream; Flamingo-ite Aura Right; Zebra Jasper’s Life Coach; Rose Quartz Bypass; Apatite for Detoxification; Moonstone Moonshine Cleanse; Kunzite Compels You; Jaded Little Pill; Lapis Lazuli Lodestar; Granite, I Didn’t Ground Today; and Bornite Birthday Suit. Both the moon-infused shades and the sun-infused shades bring powerful healing.
Now, I must depart this astral plane, but hold my astral spot, ‘cause I might come back.
Namaste,
Celeste Moonbeam
Align your chakras
NOT SURE WHAT CRYSTAL WILL ALIGN YOUR CHAKRAS? TAKE THE QUIZ!
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