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Origin Story

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  • Mary Queen of Golf Origin Story
    March 4, 2021

    Mary Queen of Golf Origin Story

    READY FOR A HISTORY LESSON? MORE LIKE A HORRIFIC TYPED SOAP OPERA SAGA? We’re here to talk about Mary, Queen of Scots. She has been credited as the first female golfer. She lived a dramatically traumatic life, with her father,...

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  • Hooked On Onyx Origin Story
    February 19, 2021

    Hooked On Onyx Origin Story

    HOOKED ON ONYX: AN ODE TO INFOMERCIALS Do you struggle to wear basic black? We’ve been there. Feeling awkward in your neon speedo at Muscle Beach because you didn't have the cajones to go with understated black? We get it,...

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  • It’s Not Black, It’s Obsidian Origin Story
    February 19, 2021

    It’s Not Black, It’s Obsidian Origin Story

    A HIPSTER’S ANGRY RANT AFTER SOMEONE CALLED HIS GLASSES “BLACK” INSTEAD OF “OBSIDIAN” “‘I like your BLACK sunglasses?!?! Really? BLACK sunglasses? You think I’d be caught dead in BLACK sunglasses? If I died and somebody put black shades on my...

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  • The Future is Void Origin Story
    February 19, 2021

    The Future is Void Origin Story

    PICK YOUR FAVORITE SHADE OF BLACK AND WE’LL TELL YOUR FUTURE fortune teller squares BEHOLD... YOUR FUTURE… 1. Charcoal. You’re expecting an important letter, and the delay has you flustered. Do not worry. It will arrive tomorrow, bearing good news:...

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  • Voight-Kampff Vision Origin Story
    December 30, 2020

    Voight-Kampff Vision Origin Story

    ARE YOU A HUMAN OR A ROBOT? TAKE OUR QUIZ! 1. You’re walking through a meadow and see a sheep stuck on its back. You are not helping it. Why? A. I’m recording a video of it for The Gram....

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  • Naeon Flux Capacitor Origin Story
    December 30, 2020

    Naeon Flux Capacitor Origin Story

    ANSWERS TO 3 BATSH*T CRAZY QUESTIONS ABOUT NAEON-FLUX CAPACITOR SUNGLASSES This week we were super excited to release our new, futuristic line of VRG sunglasses. That is, until we checked our email, and saw some weirdos had batsh*t crazy questions...

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  • See You at the Party, Richter Origin Story
    December 30, 2020

    See You at the Party, Richter Origin Story

    10 CLEVER THINGS TO YELL WHEN YOU THROW YOUR ENEMY TO THEIR DEATH We’ve all been in that awkward situation where you get in a fist fight with your enemy and throw them off a precipice to their death. As...

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  • Electric Dinotopia Carnival Origin Story
    November 12, 2020

    Electric Dinotopia Carnival Origin Story

    Our staff paleontologist at the time created this video for our initial release of Electric Dinotopia Carnival in early 2018. Clearly, her content production skills are not up-to-par with what we expect from our on-staff paleontologists, so she was let...

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  • Silverback Squat Mobility Origin Story
    November 11, 2020

    Silverback Squat Mobility Origin Story

    THE SILVERBACK IS THE BEAST OF BEASTS. He is very secretive about his workouts, but there is one thing we know for sure… he never skips leg day. In fact, we’re pretty sure every day is leg day for this...

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  • Mint Julep Electroshocks Origin Story
    November 9, 2020

    Mint Julep Electroshocks Origin Story

    HOW TO MAKE THE PERFECT MINT JULEP (BEAST GOODR STYLE) If you’ve come looking for a timeless classic cocktail, featuring a pristine balance of sweet and fragment mint, mixed carefully over gently crushed ice and featuring a delicious, aged bourbon...

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  • Modern Day Snake Oil Origin Story
    October 30, 2020

    Modern Day Snake Oil Origin Story

    OIL A Story About Black Blue Blocker Glasses AN HONEST PLEA TO SMART, ATTRACTIVE CONSUMERS Hey, you there! Yes, you! I can tell by your savvy intelligence AND your striking beauty that you know the value of a good deal!...

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  • Wakka Wakka Wakka Wakka Origin Story
    October 30, 2020

    Wakka Wakka Wakka Wakka Origin Story

    10 BASIC PAC-MANIAN PHRASES YOU MUST KNOW Hello! -- Wakka! Where is the bathroom? -- Wakka wakka wakka wakka? Do you speak English? -- Wakka wakka wakka English? Are you concerned Pac-Man is developing a crippling addiction to pellets? -...

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