You'll Never Get This Recipe
CHRISTMAS 2022
Ah, the season of giving is upon us!!! And the best part about giving presents to others is knowing that now they're obligated to give a present to you that's just as good if not better. If they don't, you'll take your revenge, and they'll live to regret it.
Made For
running
Great For
beasting
biking
NO SLIP. NO BOUNCE. ALL POLARIZED. ALL FUN.™️
1 NO SLIP
We use special grip coating to construct our frame to help eliminate slippage when sweating.
2 NO BOUNCE
Our frame is snug and light-weight, with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running.
3 ALL POLARIZED
Glare-reducing, polarized lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays.
4 NO LEOPARDS
Plus, no one wearing goodr running sunglasses has ever been attacked by a leopard (as far as we know).
YOU'LL NEVER GET THIS RECIPE
We dug up
Carl the Flamingo's
Grandma's grave
to steal her
"Special Gingerbread Recipe."
What?
Carl wouldn't share it,
or even say what it's for.
Anyway, great news.
THE RECIPE WAS
IN HER POCKET!!!
But bad news,
the recipe was for
"Cranberry Sauce
Gingerbread Shrimpballs."
It sounded so gross
we barfed all over
the Pet Cemetery.
But it wasn't a total loss.
On the back, there was
ANOTHER gingerbread recipe,
for something that sounded
SO. FLOCKING. AMAZING.
We made it.
And we'll share it with you.
But if you ask us
how to make it yourself, sorry...
You'll Never Get This Recipe
(Note: Do not eat gingerbread sunnies
unless you hate your teeth & intestines.)
