Shopping Bag
No one to sip sugary cinnamon, allspice, and nutmeg lattes with? Feeling lonely? And I'm not talking about getting lost in a corn maze. Don’t worry. These orange sunglasses have you covered this spooky cuddle season... or covering your face, at least. What I’m saying is this season is all about you! Whoever said the fall months are for starting short-term situationships or blossoming love never experienced the real joy of the end of the year, deep sales. This is the best time to buy, buy, buy, not kiss, kiss, kiss! Make sure your priorities are right.
Dating is expensive and time-consuming. Sunglasses are cheap. These polarized women's sunnies are more affordable than the two tickets to some haunted house with rusty, retro animatronic monsters. Where did you find this place anyway?! Sunset walks with your bae can quickly turn into getting lost in the dark with no reception. Now there is a safety concern. You look way cooler sporting polarized aviators than you would wearing matching outfits. Matching outfits can start adding up, and truly, your closet space can be used for more shades! Feeding two mouths can easily turn to three mouths if you aren’t careful (if you know what I mean). Wouldn’t you rather have three orange sunglasses?!?!? Bonus, now all the food and sunnies are for yourself.
Our oversized rectangle BFG frames, That Orange Crush Rush, hide just enough of your face to stare down couples doing PDA with irritation and sadness. Get a room... you're making brunch weird. Our square OG sunglasses, Donkey Goggles, brighten up your face, distracting potential mates from your nonstop RBF, which we truly think is your best feature. Our round Circle G sunglasses, Freshly Baked Man Buns, can be your best companion on a bike ride to a retro coffee cafe to write your deep but transparent poetry you plan on posting on your dating profile. Let those swipes start rolling in. Orange frames not your thing? We get it. Not everyone prefers that color, or maybe fun just like, something you may prefer. Anyway... weirdo... The polarized lens style in our black shades Whiskey Shots with Satan are sure to cause a spark! Hopefully, in a new flame, not the criminal way.
Don't miss the opportunity to not be basic AF this 2021 holiday season. If you were basic, you would be wearing some black rimless wayfarer with sweater paws and faux fur boots. Grab some orange frames with mirror tinted lens and retro overalls to make a statement. Go big or go home. You're welcome for the style help.
You're probably feeling left out if you’re in a loving relationship looking for some orange women's or men's sunglasses. Welcome to my world, buddy! It's a joke. Want to hear a joke? Knock Knock. Dramatic pause while you mouth, "who's there?" Orange sunglasses. Go ahead and shop two pairs of shades for you and your lover, and snag some free shipping if your order is over fifty dollars because brands like goodr give you all the perks. Look at you getting all the benefits right at the end. Always getting those winning results...