Shopping Bag
goodr CEO Carl the Flamingo is infamous for his glamorous, boozy escapades to exotic remote islands. He’s a bird with a taste for adventure so extravagent that can usually only be satisfied on an extremely exclusive private island. But sitting atop an elaborately decked out beachside cabana on an island located in the center of the Bermuda Triangle– “SQUAAAAWK!” We’ve said too much, Carl is forbidding us from disclosing further details about the island’s exact whereabouts but just trust us that it’s fancy AF.
Sitting atop his elite (REDACTED) in his (REDACTED) with his 666 exotic (REDACTED), he found himself growing tired of the same outlandishly indulgent tropical getaway. The extraordinary had grown so hopelessly everyday for him that he longed for a sweet, bland sip of the ordinary. So he went to the one place he thought could still make him feel something– anything– like joy: A suburban rec center.
When Carl arrived at the multi-sport outdoor facility, he took a deep breath of moderate-quality air (it was pollen season and this year’s ragweed had something to prove,) then strolled up to the courts to see what he was working with. He was blown away to find courts of every color, size, and shape (in the spirit of transparency they were exclusively rectangles but you get it.)
We’re talking basketball, racketball, tennis, and beach volleyball. BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE!!! He kept walking (he’d have flown but he already had a few too many piña coladas, he was on vacation after all) and was awestruck to see not just courts, but also fields!!! Soccer, football, even baseball!!! He was also awestruck to learn some people just call it a baseball diamond even though it’s literally surrounded by a field but apparently, the outfield doesn’t count. That fancy pitcher can just go run under that pop fly going deep into left field, right? Elitists. Carl basked in the glorious courts, epic fields, and devilishly charming field-adjacent spaces. Pray tell, what more could a bird of paradise longing for typical day-to-day suburban entertainment want?!? WHAT MORE, PRAY TELL????
That’s when he saw it… his mission. People squinting in the sun missing an easy backhand shot, bouncing easy layups because the sweat from their epic athletic feats was making their inferior sunglasses slip, people getting beamed in the face because their shades bounced when they dove for the volleyball. Carl knew what he had to do. He was going to change these sports forever, one ball at a time.
Emotionally? These two pairs of sunnies are worlds apart. The best tennis sunglasses not only need to withstand the fiercest grunts but also need to be fashionable enough to perfectly pair with your coordinated tennis outfits. The best pickleball sunglasses, however, might not need to cover as much ground as quickly, but they make up for it in pizazz. But what’s the literal difference between these two pairs of sunnies? Nothing. Tennis players and picklers alike both need a no-slip, no-bounce frame to keep their shades in place on their face while they serve it up on the court. Plus, not only do our polarized lenses with UV400 protection keep away harmful UV rays, but if you choose one of our sunglasses with high contrast lenses, the ball (be it tennis or wiffle) will pop even more on the court for increased detail visibility. They may have some differences on the court, but when it comes to active sunglasses, tennis sunglasses and pickleball sunglasses are one in the same.
Speaking of courts, when you think about professional basketball games you may think of indoor courts in giant arenas. However, most day-to-day basketball games actually take place outside where there is also– and this is true– sunlight. But do you really need sunglasses for basketball? Depends. Are you cool getting beamed in the retina with bright overhead light when you try to sink a simple layup, then end up missing the hoop entirely and hitting your pinky finger against it at a weird angle trying to block your eyes from being blasted with harmful UV rays and at first you’re like “whew, just nicked it” but then as the game keeps going, you look down to see a fully black and blue pinky finger and have to forfeit the game to go to urgent care so they can tape it to your ring finger and honestly you probably could have just done that at home, but it feels like a doctor should be involved if it’s this bruised, right? EXACTLY. Basketball sunglasses, specifically goodr sunglasses, come equipped with polarized lenses that just saved you a two-hour wait next to a bunch of snot-nosed coughing kids in urgent care. You’re welcome. Plus, they’ll stay on your face with our special grip coating to keep those sunnies in place no matter how much sweat, blood, or sports drinks are pouring down your face.
Sure, wearing sunglasses for a beach volleyball game seems pretty intuitive. Why? Because it’s on, you know, the beach. But volleyball sunglasses aren’t all made equal. You deserve beach volleyball sunglasses with a wide variety of vibrant hues to match each and every one of your fly AF looks, but you also need high-performance sunnies with a no-slip, no-bounce frame to keep them on your face for every dive, spike, and serve. And you might be thinking, “But I don’t need sunglasses if I’m wearing a visor, right?” WRONG. To be clear, keep that visor on your glorious noggin, it looks undeniably stylish, but bright overhead light isn’t the only thing you’ll need protection from on the court. Because what are those courts covered in? Sand. Notoriously bright, reflective sand that can blast your precious peepers with glare that can mess up your game. So stay safe with our active sunglasses. Both your eyes and your teammates will thank you.
We all know the great debate: is it football or soccer? On one side, you have the United States proudly proclaiming their love of soccer, and on the other side, you have literally the rest of the world calling it football because you know… it’s a sport where you kick a ball with your foot. It’s kind of its whole thing. No matter where you land, you can’t forget one crucial piece of equipment before jumping on the field: sport sunglasses. Do you really need sunglasses to play soccer? Absolutely. Are we biased? If wanting to make sure you don’t get beamed in the face with a soccer ball makes us biased, then sure. Oh and also because we sell them, that also makes us biased. But here’s the deal, we literally only exist because there was a need for affordable sunglasses that were still high-performance and offered UV400 protection, but also came in a ton of sick colors and styles you’d actually want to wear. And if you’re running around on a bright, sunny day and you don’t want to spend the game squinting and scrunching up your face, we want to make sure there’s an affordable, fashionable, high-performance sunglasses option for you. (BLEEEEECH) Sorry, Carl found some shrimp in his travel suitcase. Oh god, how long has that been in there?!?
If you’re going to sport sunglasses while playing sports, goodr has your back. Well, your eyes. We tried making backglasses (sunglasses for backs) but our test clientele found the backglasses uncomfortable and “stabby” and suffered terrible injuries and sued us and we’re not supposed to talk about it anymore. “NEVER MENTION THE BACKGLASSES BLOOD SCANDAL!!!” Our CEO Carl the Flamingo says that every day. But Carl’s not our only CEO. Carl’s just a figurehead CEO. Our journey with creating badass sports eyewear starts with our real CEO, Stephen Lease.
So we’ll be real, if you got read the rest of this article, you probably already know the ins and outs of why goodr makes the best sports sunglasses in the game. High performance? We’ve got that no-slip, no-bounce special grip coating on lock. Fashionable? Obvi. We’ve got tons of frame options from our classic OGs to our aviator-style MACH Gs to our extremely extreme wraparound sunglasses, WRAP Gs, and tons in between. Oh and colors? You know we’ve got you covered with everything from bright, vibrant shades with mirrored lenses to classic black sport sunglasses. Cheap sunglasses? Whoa whoa whoa, we’re not cheap, we’re affordable. We just think everyone should have access to high-performance sunglasses you’ll actually be proud to wear and won’t have to take out a second mortgage if you accidentally lose. And fun? It’s the only speed we know. Think fun isn’t a speed? Think it’s just an abstract concept with a constantly changing definition dependent on who you’re talking to at that moment? TOUGH TUNA my friend, that’s our whole vibe. What? You’ve never heard “tough tuna” used in a sentence. Wow… well we’re grateful we could be here to witness it. Welcome to the world, my tender tuna, this is what we call living. (BLEEEEECH) Oh no, he found another shrimp.
The point is, it doesn’t matter if you play baseball, football, basketball, hockey, wrestling, rugby, golf, soccer, tennis, gymnastics, archery, badminton, bowling, table squash, table tennis, volleyball, cricket, cycling, fishing, curling, figure skating, running, weightlifting, skiing, snowboarding, rowing, auto racing, motorboat racing, polo, competitive gaming, cheerleading, or dressage. We don’t just have sports sunglasses polarized. We don’t just have good sports sunglasses. We have the best sports sunglasses, from black sports sunglasses to blue sport sunglasses to best value sports sunglasses.
