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Sports Sunglasses From Goodr

According to our CEO, Carl the Flamingo, a sport is a “ball-throwing thingy where people get really sweaty and people watching it get really drunk.” That’s not correct. A sport is “an activity involving physical exertion and skill in which an individual or team competes against another or others for entertainment.” (And typically afterward the winners drink the losers' tears out of a trophy.)

“Sports” encompasses a lot. How many different sports can you name in 30 seconds?! We’ll start: baseball, football, basketball, hockey, wrestling, rugby, golf, soccer, tennis, gymnastics, archery, badminton, table squash, table tennis, bowling, volleyball, cricket, cycling, fishing, curling, figure skating, running, weightlifting, skiing, snowboarding, rowing, auto racing, motorboat racing, polo, competitive gaming, cheerleading – wait, IS cheerleading a sport?! Ahhhh, out of time.

Okay, we cheated. That took longer than thirty seconds. And we forgot the absolute best sport: dressage, the art of riding and training a horse in a manner that develops obedience, flexibility, and balance. Basically, it’s horse ballet! Unfortunately, the horses don’t wear tights and pink tutus. What a shame.

OK yeah, so why are we talking about polarized sunglasses like it's the "Secret Word" on Pee Wee's Playhouse? (AHHHHHHH!!!! We said the SECRET WORDZ: polarized sunglasses!!! Dibs on sitting in Chairy’s lap!!!) The truth is we recently had a very special guest visit our Lagoon headquarters who got us thinking about what polarized sunglasses means to us. No, it wasn’t Pee Wee. We don't want to brag or anything, but our visitor is a famous feline internet celebrity who asked us a plethora of questions when he saw our impressive wall of polarized sunglasses. Luckily for him, Carl the Flamingo has the patience of a saint when discussing polarized eyeglasses. It's only one of his favorite topics of all time!!! It’s “polarized sun lenses” and “polarized lens goggles” and “polarized glass” and “polarised glass sunglasses” all day e’ry day. We told Carl he needs to seek professional help. He threatened to fire us if we didn’t write this. He told us our jobs depended upon cramming as much information about polarized eyewear in here as we could. So here we are. We apologize in advance.

Our visitor, Captain Meowzipan, asked SO many questions. “Carl, I can has lots of questions about polarized sunglasses? Why polarized sunglasses, Carl? What does polarized mean in sunglasses? Or, what is polarized sunglasses mean? What is polarized sunglasses meaning? What is polarized sunglasses? What is polarized lens? Or, more importantly, what is polarized lenses? Does polarized sunglasses come from the North Pole? Does polarized lenses come from polar bears?! Does polar bears wear polarized sunglasses? Does polar bears eat cats?!?! I can has protection from polar bears?!”

To the hoomans sitting around the office, this succession of questions was super cringe and awkward. It’s like when your friend’s toddler asks you a bajillion questions at brunch and you’re hungover and just want to shove your shrimp toast into their sweet little boogery face so you can get two minutes of peace and quiet. Hey, it’s not your friend’s fault that you’re the only one lucky enough to still be on the Uncle Buck lifestyle plan. Right? Carl was thrilled though because he could share his polarized sunglasses view literally, and figuratively with Captain Meowzipan.

“First of all Captain… There is no need to worry about polar bears here in our fabulous goodr lagoon. This isn’t the island from Lost. Now, THAT was a great show. At least until the final season. Talk about polarizing!!! HAAAA. No pun intended. Second of all. OK, WOW. You ask a LOT of questions. I bet your hooman hates taking you on road trips, huh? No offense. It looks like we're going to be here for a while. Should we order lunch?"

"I can has cheeseburgers, Carl? I can has pineapple, pepperoni pizza?! I can has polarized glass sunglasses?!?!”

“Of course you can! You can has cheeseburgers, you can has pizza, you can has polarized grey sunglasses! Is that offensive? Sorry, I had heard that cats could only see gray and blue. So I assumed you wanted polarized gray sunglasses, but you can choose any color of polarized protective glasses you want!!! Just ignore those signs over there that say you have to do the Truffle Shuffle if you touch the sunglasses wall. I own this place and can do whatever I want!!! And I do. And I have never done the Truffle Shuffle. Try on as many pairs of sunglasses with polarized lenses as you want!!! OK, now that we’ve got that settled, let’s get started on answering some of your questions!!! What is polarized glasses? Or really, what does polarized sunglasses mean?

“It’s obvi you’ve never looked up “polarized definition sunglasses”. Oh jeez, I’m talking like you now. Let’s see, What do polarized lenses do… What are polarized sunglasses… What are polarized lenses…Well, if you’re looking for sunglasses glare reduction, polarized sunglass lenses are fantastic for reducing eye strain and light glare. For that reason, they can improve your vision in super glare-y situations, like when you’re shreddin’ gnar on snowy slopes or executing wheelies on water using a jet ski. Is it still called a wheelie if there aren’t any wheels? But like, we’ve all experienced the frustration of being temporarily blinded by reflected light and glare. It’s like when your team makes the beach volleyball playoffs, and there’s light bouncing off of the oiled up bodies at Muscle Beach, and then the glare causes you to miss the setpoint, and then you have to blow this month’s rent on the alcohol tab for the opposing team. Know what I mean? What do you mean you don’t know what I’m talking about? Don’t famous internet cats play beach volleyball?! Anyhow, polarized lenses reduce glare and this is one of the most important reasons your sunnies should be polarized. Do you understand polarised sunglasses meaning now?”

If you’re going to sport sunglasseswhile playing sports, goodr has your back. Well, your eyes. We tried making backglasses (sunglasses for backs) but our test clientele found the backglasses uncomfortable and “stabby” and suffered terrible injuries and sued us and we’re not supposed to talk about it anymore. “NEVER MENTION THE BACKGLASSES BLOOD SCANDAL!!!” Our CEO Carl the Flamingo says that every day. But Carl’s not our only CEO. Carl’s just a figurehead CEO. Our journey with creating badass sports eyewear starts with our real CEO, Stephen Lease.

One day “avid runner” Stephen Lease, a HUMAN (as far as we know) looked in the mirror and had an awakening: He looked like the biggest tool in the world. Lame hat, dorky shades, compression everything, giant arm sleeves, run belt with gels, and a performance diaper. (Okay, the performance diaper is a joke, but everything else is true). "What the f*** am I wearing it right now?" he wondered.

After hitting rock bottom, Stephen noticed most runners weren't wearing overpriced high-performance sports sunglasses. They wore cheap sunnies from gas stations. There was a huge opportunity for stylish, fun, functional, affordable active shades in the running space. This was the seed of goodr! (A pink, flamingo-shaped seed, watered with piña coladas.)

Stephen co-founded goodr with two friends from high school: recovering lawyer Ben Abell and biology major turned rappin' actress Keri Blunt. (In HS, Ben and Keri were voted "Most Likely to Take Over the World." Stephen was voted "Best Hair.") On March 15, 2015, they launched the company with a Kickstarter campaign, shipping sunnies from an apartment.

Stephen, Ben, and Keri created goodr's brand: Badass active sports sunglasses that speak to the four F's (Fun, Fashionable, Functional, and 'ffordable). We exist to give you permission to be unabashedly yourself… unless you're an asshole. And the mascot is a drunk kleptomaniac flamingo named Carl. It just makes sense, people.

For the first two years, the trio kept the brand afloat while working full-time jobs. Did we mention Stephen created five failed companies before goodr? The sixth time is the charm! The brand quickly grew from three old chums in an apartment to 20 buddies in The Cabana (Playa Del Rey store) to 90+ lifelong BFFs in The Lagoon (Inglewood HQ and warehouse), plus an experiential boutique store in the heart of Abbot Kinney, The goodr Cabana! (If you haven’t visited The goodr Cabana yet, you’re doing life wrong.)

During our five year overnight success, goodr expanded to 1,500+ stores in 30+ countries, added five verticals (run, beast, bike, golf, game), collaborated with major brands (Warner Bros, PBR, Dunkin'), and won several awards: Runner’s World Gear of the Year three times, PGA Buyer’s Choice, Men’s Health Best Buy, Rolling Stone’s Favorite Sunglasses For Athletes, GQ’s Best Sunglasses of 2020, and Inc. Magazine’s Best Places To Work. Most recently, they were featured in Oprah Daily’s Summer Quarterly edition for must-have gear. 

But despite all the glitz, glamour, and piña colada-fueled shenanigans (what happens in The Lagoon stays in The Lagoon), goodr still boils down to that fateful moment Chief Executive Octopus Stephen Lease looked in the mirror. "We sell fun, not eyewear," says Lease. "For $25, we can put a smile on your face. And that is a very powerful thing."

That’s right, “a very powerful thing.” Want to feel powerful when you play sports? Then grab a pair of sports sunnies, especially if you run. At goodr, we know runners love to hate running (and hate to love it). That’s why we launched RUN goodr with the “Running is fun?” campaign, speaking to all those conflicted toenail-losing bush-peeing moments.

It’s been one of those runs. The banana is sitting heavy in your stomach like a monkey-treat-shaped piece of lead from hell. There’s a mysterious lump in your shoe that you’re unsure is from nature or your own body rejecting your big toenail. There are large eye-shaped wet marks standing out on your performance shirt from when you attempted to mop the sweat from your stinging peepers. And under that shirt you feel the rhythmic rub, rub, rub of the sports bra, chewing away the very flesh it promised to support. Running is fun? 

It starts with a slight twinge, then the pressure mounts. The incline ramps up and you feel a painful squelch and dampness spreading across your sock. “I’m FREE AT LAST!” your toenail cheers. A sharp stab makes you glance down to assess the situation. The lens quality of your cheap sunglasses bounce off and you hear a gut-wrenching crunch. The shattered wreckage of your overly expensive sun protection lies behind you. You look up and see the blinding ball of fire cresting the top of the hill you climb. Limp. Limp. Limp squint limp. Running is fun?

Look at that stride. You magnificent thing, you. Long. Strong. And oh no. Something’s wrong. A sinister gurgle. Pressure from downtown. And clenching won’t take you across the finish line. But this is the fourth time now that your body is movin’ and groovin’ without your permission. Glancing at your time, you calculate how long you have to wait in line and still get your PR. That person you’ve been leapfrogging with all morning runs past with a smug grin. Running is fun?

“Carl, I still don’t understandz how do sunglasses eliminate glare?”

“Carl, I still don’t understandz how do sunglasses eliminate glare?”

FEATURES OF GOODR SPORTS GLASSES

Ah, the popular crowd. The Nicklaus, Woods, Mickelson, and Daly-level polarized golf sunglasses. Taking our sunnies out to the golf course at least ensures you’ll LOOK the part of a champion golfer. But with Flamingo Eye Technology polycarbonate lenses and the best-looking frames in the game, you can step up to the first tee confident. Confident that when you duck hook your first shot into the water, at least you’ll still look good in your playing partner’s Instagram story.

The best golf sunglasses will turn heads out on the course, the range, the putting green, and they’ll make the hole look AT LEAST twice as big as it really is. While we can’t guarantee our golf sunglasses will make more of your putts drop, that’s really not on us now, is it? (Oooh, IDEA: create the best sports sunglasses with magical powers that allow professional golfers to briefly possess your body so you can sink tough shots. It’s a million-dollar idea! Why hasn’t anyone ever done it before?!?!?!)

goodr golf sunglasses in the OG frame style are par for the course. (And they definitely won’t TEE you off!!! HAHAHHA okay we’ll stop now.) The OG frame features a classic shape with our polarized lens. The lightweight frame features an all grip, no-slip, no bounce, specialized rubber grip coating so there is no need for bulky nose pads or those annoying glasses straps. Polarized lenses are the only glass lenses that help to block UV light will also enhance your vision both on and off the golf course. There is nothing worse than tanking your game because you miss an easy shot thanks to the glare monster. (Oooh, IDEA: a horror movie called Glare, about a glare monster that prowls a golf course. It’s a million-dollar idea! Why hasn’t anyone ever done it before?!?!?!)

Don’t be the laughing stock of the golf course with cheesy golf sunglasses that are ten times the price. (Unless they’re made out of actual cheese, YUM, worth it.) Polarized lenses are here to save your game! Whether you need this enhancement to spot devious gophers, or you just need help spotting the ball on the course, our OG golf sunnies feature Flamingo Eye technology. Again: we believe that the best golf sunglasses should be fashionable, functional, fun, and affordable (or ‘ffordable to those in the know!).

But goodr doesn’t just cater to runners and golfers. We also have BIKE goodr. Are you looking for the best cycling sunglasses? The most popular cycling glasses? A pair of cheap polarized sport sunglasses? Sunglasses for sports? Polarized active sunglasses? Sporting sunglasses​​? Best affordable sports sunglasses? If it seems like we’re randomly injecting similar phrases into this paragraph for SEO purposes, then, crap. You’re smarter than we initially anticipated.

Look, we’re just trying to get our stuff to the top of the Google search results. Is that so bad? We’ve asked you an awful lot of questions about cycling sunglasses at this point. It’d probably be nice to get to know a little more about you and what makes you tick. What’s your favorite food? Is it pizza? Seems like cycling and pizza go hand in hand if you ask us.

See, at goodr, we believe in making polarized active sports sunglasses for ALL types of athletes. As our CEO Stephen Lease likes to say, “If you run, you’re a runner.” Therefore, if you golf you’re a golfer. If you game, you’re a gamer. And if you cycle, you’re a cycler! (But maybe  not a “biker.” Those folks wear leather jackets and seem simultaneously cool and scary.) On BIKE goodr, we launched the “You Ride You” campaign to promote polarized sports sunglasses to EVERY type of cyclist.

Do you shave every inch of your body hair to gain an extra few watts only to be spit out the back of the pack every Wednesday night during the Cat 5 Masters Race? You ride you. 

Do you roll up to the coffee ride on Sundays in a full Team Sky kit from 2013 and complain the pace isn't fast enough and never stop telling everyone in the group that you'll probably go for another 50 miles at tempo after this? You ride you.

Do you have a power meter, heart rate monitor, cadence sensor, and a subscription to Strava Summit but honestly have no clue what to do with all that data afterward but still feel it's super important to have access to it all because maybe one day you'll learn what it means and have an actual training plan? You ride you.

Are you constantly sending pictures of sweet bikes that only dentists can afford to your friends to laugh about but deep down inside you know damn well if you had an extra $17k laying around you'd be all over it? You ride you.

Did you show up to Unbound Gravel one year on 32c clinchers, with one spare tube, road shoes, and not quite enough nutrition only to realize 10 miles in it was going to be a bit harder than you expected and that you probably should have taken the whole training thing a little more seriously but won't learn your lesson for the next time around? You ride you.

Are you constantly spending your weekends sailing off booters, mud-diving, getting gravity checked, making tacos, going fishing, getting sawdusted, and playing possum, only to have a fresh set of mystery bruises to give you the opening to brag about your shralping with whomever will listen? You ride you. (Oooh, IDEA: an ad for BIKE goodr with one female sheep riding another female sheep consensually. Get it? EWE RIDE EWE?!?! It’s a million-dollar idea! Why hasn’t anyone ever done it before?!?!?!)

Starting to get the idea? We hope so because we listed six “You Ride You” examples. We could’ve followed the “rule of threes,” and listed three examples, but we didn’t. At goodr, we’re all about excess. Plus, six is divisible by three, so that still follows the rules. Loophole! Next time, we’ll list nine examples, or maybe 12, or maybe 30!!! HA HA HA HA!

“So, Carl, are polarized sunglasses good? Why are polarized sunglasses good? Or should I say, goodr?” *snicker snicker*

“Duh!!! That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you. Sunglasses with polarised lenses are great!!! Some people who wear pol lenses report that they are less tired than usual after hours of battling the harsh glare bear (the sun). Lots of everyday situations can be improved with polarized sunnies!!! Let me guess, you want specific examples?”

“Yes, Carl, Tellz me more about situations where glass sunglasses polarized makes thingz better. I wantz information on polaroid glasses uses.”

“Ok, I can do that. Uhh, just curious, would you consider taking a grammar class in return for this information?! I kid, I kid. Again, please don’t plot to kill me. Here are some scenarios that are improved by polarized glasses. Or polarized glass if you’re a cyclops. I imagine that since you’re a cat, you enjoy fishing. People, or cats, who fish often find that polarized sunglasses help them see into the water and drastically reduce the glare reflecting off of the H2O’s surface. It probably comes as no surprise then that people who enjoy boating can also benefit from a polarized lens. If you’re driving a boat, polarized lenses can help you see below the surface better, which could be important for safety. Polarized lenses may reduce the eye fatigue caused by eyestrain that is common when staring at the water’s surface all day. Also, do you know that we make special lenses for golfing? Our Flamingo Eye Technology provides polarized glasses perfect for golfing. They’re designed to help you spot the ball easier on the greens compared to golfing without them. We aim to reduce the glare on the fairway while increasing your chances of scoring a Flamingo. If you don’t know this already, it’s not a Bogey, it’s a Flamingo. You’ll also have an easier time spotting golf balls that have accidentally found their way into that murky golf course pond water when you’re wearing polarized lenses. Pro-tip: Don’t submerge your head under that water. No one wants a parasitic brain amoeba. What am I talking about? Cats hate water, right? Oh yeah, polarized glasses are great for a lot of snowy environments too.”

“Interesting Carl. So when is use of polarised sunglasses not good?”

“Good call my feline friend. There are a few instances where use of polarized sunglasses is not good. For example, a polarized lens material can interfere when you’re looking at LCD (liquid crystal display) screens. So they may be a very bad idea if you have LCD car dashboard controls, or if you’re using an ATM machine, using a cell phone, and some digital watches. Also, even though we offer our aviation-themed Mach G sunnies with polarized lenses, you should not be wearing them when flying an actual plane!!! Side note, we’re not responsible if you fly into the Bermuda Triangle and are lost forever because you didn’t heed our warning to not wear polarized lenses while flying a plane and then end up misreading your instrument panel because you were desperate to look stylish!!!”

“Carl, you said a lot of bad things about glare today. Nothing is 100% good or badz, right? Is glare ever good?”

“First of all. F*ck glare. I’ve built an entire empire trying to combat it after I totaled my ’87 Ferrari Testarossa when the glare from Christie Brinkley’s perfect white smile and glossy lips caused me to crash when I spotted her at an intersection in Hollywood back in ’89. But you’re right, sometimes glare can be good. It can help you spot ice patches on the road while driving or while skiing. That’s about the only good thing I can say about it though.”

Anway, excess. Did you think we’d stop with RUN goodr, GOLF goodr, and BIKE goodr? You thought wrong, buster. WROOOOOOONG!!! We also have BEAST goodr, for the CrossFit/Obstacle Course Racing/Functional Fitness/weightlifting community. 

When you’re crushing it at the gym, you need the best workout sunglasses that won’t slip off your sweaty face while you’re bench pressing a baby elephant or whatever. (Note: Only bench press a baby elephant if it consents, enjoys being bench pressed, and giggles adorably.) Like our other vertical campaigns, we believe workout shades should be for everyone. We encourage ALL types of weightlifters, obstacle racers, and CrossFit clientele to express their individuality. Be LOUD. Be YOU. Be a BEAST. 

Are you an UGHHHHHHH, an AHHHHHHHHH, or a HURRRRGHGHGGHGH? Maybe you’re the type that suppresses that GRUNNNNNNT, so you end up spraying saliva everywhere through your partially closed pain-grimace-torture-smile. Maybe your workouts sound more like an accidentally sensual breathy moan. We’re here for all of it. Be Loud. Be You. Be A Beast. 

Do you wait in lines — at theme parks, cafés, porta-potties, etc — and pass the time by doing box jumps and burpees? Be Loud. Be You. Be a Beast.

Do you pretend you’re an IG/TikTok influencer and record yourself working out, making your SwoleMate operate the camera to catch your best angles to show off the muscles you worked so hard for? Be LOUD. Be YOU. Be a BEAST.

Do you dress up in stylish team outfits for competitions, call double-unders “struggle-unders,” adore obstacle course racing, and wish one “obstacle” could be a swimming pool full of chocolate?!?! Be Loud. Be You. Be a Beast. 

Do you go online and search “cheap sports sunglasses,” “best cheap sports sunglasses”,” best looking sport sunglasses polarized,” “best sports sunglasses for men and women,” “polarized sunglasses for sports,” “active sport sunglasses,” and “best sports glasses”? Be Loud. Be You. Be a Beast. Whoops, you caught us again! We slipped back into shameless phrase repetition for SEO purposes. Is writing SEO articles considered a sport? IT SHOULD BE!!! WE’RE SWEATING OUR ASSES OFF OVER HERE!!!

FINAL THOUGHTS

The point is, it doesn’t matter if you play baseball, football, basketball, hockey, wrestling, rugby, golf, soccer, tennis, gymnastics, archery, badminton, bowling, table squash, table tennis, volleyball, cricket, cycling, fishing, curling, figure skating, running, weightlifting, skiing, snowboarding, rowing, auto racing, motorboat racing, polo, competitive gaming, cheerleading, or dressage. We don’t just have sports sunglasses polarized. We don’t just have good sports sunglasses. We have the best sports sunglasses, from black sports sunglasses to blue sport sunglasses to best value sports sunglasses.

Huh. When you use a lot of SEO phrases in a row, it sounds kind of like a Dr. Seuss book. “Do you like active sports sunglasses brands?” “I do, I like them, in my hands!” “Do you like prescription lenses for your prescription sport sunglasses cheap?” “I do, I even wear them while I sleep!” “Do you like sports sunglasses Amazon?” “Yes, but they treat employees wrong!” HA. Nailed it. Sprinkling these SEO phrases is like sprinkling a trail of breadcrumbs on the dark forest of the internet, not to see we can find our way back, but so you can find your way to us. If you’re googling “sports sunglasses cheap amazon,” “sunglasses for sports polarized,”  “where to buy the best sport sunglasses,” you’ve come to the right place. Welcome. NOW HELP US GET OUT OF THIS DAMN CAGE!!!!

Yes please!

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