Carl the Flamingo: “Knock, knock?”
Poor sucker: “Who’s there?”
Carl the Flamingo: “Banana.”
Poor sucker: “Banana who?”
Carl the Flamingo: “Knock, knock!!?”
Poor sucker: “Who’s there!!?”
Carl the Flamingo: “Banana.”
...Repeat, repeat, eye roll…
Poor sucker: “STFU!!!!!!”
Carl the Flamingo: “ORANGE YOU GLAD I DIDN’T SAY BANANA!???”
It’s the oldest joke in the book. If you love this joke, you probably also love orange sunglasses. Is that a stretch? Nah, we don’t think so.We’re here to tell you the top reasons why you need a pair of orange shades And because purchases feel better when you justify them with at least six solid reasons, we have decided to be overachievers (for once) and give you ten.
1. Orange means happiness, creativity, and a trip to the tropics.
2. Oranges have Vitamin C in them… these sunglasses do not.
3. Does your kleptomaniac sister have orange shades?
4. Be seen!
5. Van Gogh liked the color orange, so you should too.
6. Repel snakes!
Well, actually, goodr orange sunglasses won’t be useful in repelling snakes. We’re sorry to mislead you here. The SSA (Sunglass Safety Association*) prohibits the use of realgar in sunglass manufacturing, as it is highly toxic and contains arsenic. For this reason, it was actually used by ancient Chinese civilizations to repel snakes. Realgar is one of the first forms of “orange.” It is a mineral with a yellow-orange hue and was also used to make pigments. The ancient Egyptians used realgar in their tomb paintings.*To our knowledge, the SSA is a made up organization for the sole purpose of writing this paragraph.
7. A buddhist robe for your face.
8. Celebrate Halloween.
9. Wearing the color orange could mean the support for these causes:
10. Other random facts about the color orange (and ultimately why you should buy orange sunglasses)
- Sometimes, the blood used on the sets of movies has to be orange to properly render on desaturated color film. A bloody example is on the set of “Sweeney Todd.”
- Frank Sinatra is quoted saying, “Orange is the happiest of colors.”
- Sportsball teams love the color orange. Check out the uniforms of these American football teams: Chicago Bears, and the Cincinnati Bengals. Bonus, the baseball team the San Francisco Giants also have orange as their primary color.
- Have you ever seen a green orange? Well, it’s a thing. In hotter climates the chlorophyll stays and the fruit remains green, compared to orange-skinned oranges in cooler parts of the world. And if green is more your thing, then check out our awesome green sunglasses!
- While we’re talking about fruit, we might as well discuss this orange veggie… Orange-inally (is that a stretch?)... Originally, carrots weren’t orange. In fact, they were more commonly purple, and if you're looking for purple sunglasses, we've got those too. Orange carrots came about in the 17th century when Dutch farmers crossbred white rooted, mutated yellow, and wild carrots.
goodr has two staples in our line of orange sunnies, with some incredibly rad ones planned for future launches. Let us introduce you to the fan faves:
THAT ORANGE CRUSH RUSH
These bad bois are BFGs. BFG stands for Big Fucking goodrs, although they aren’t quite big enough for the actual BFG. If you don’t know who he is, please get a library card and Dewey Decimal your way to the Roald Dahl section.These sunglasses are made for people with larger heads. They have silicone grips on the nose piece and ears to make them stay EXTRA put no matter how slippery your face gets. We don’t want to know…
DONKEY GOGGLESThe little bro to the BFGs, errr, well, more like average sized bro, are these Donkey Goggles. They are our OG frame style. About as classic as you can get.
Both the Donkey Goggles and That Orange Crush Rush feature mirrored blue polarized lenses, providing that perfect color contrast that Vincent van Gogh loved so dearly.
Yeeeesh! That is A LOT of information about the color orange. We hope that it is enough to help you make an informed decision about purchasing our insanely cogoodr orange eyewear. The coolest thing about these sunglasses is that they’re designed to not slip, or bounce, whether you’re painting million dollar pet portraits, trick-or-treating, slamming down Earthquakes, running away from snakes, or out picking oranges. And for the unbeatably low price only $25 you truly might as well have a pair of sunglasses in this wonderfully fantastical color.
ORANGE YOU DYING TO READ MORE?
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