7. You can’t write poetry in the park if you’re straining your eyes while writing in your handbound leather notebook complete with handcrafted recycled paper.
In order to write poetry, you need to be comfortable. This is the only way the words will properly flow. In order to be comfortable, your eyes need sunglasses! Seriously! “I love the sun blasting me straight in my pupils!” said no one, ever. Unless you prefer to do your poetry writing in a dark basement, these circular shades are exactly what you need.
8. Not many cats have the ability to walk on a leash, but if you’re a hipster, you’ve probably tried.
The idea of walking a cat on a leash is AMAZING. IF ONLY it worked. Cats, obviously less mainstream than dogs, are the hipsters’ choice of pets. Therefore, it’s only best practice to try to ironically walk them like dogs. Nine times outta ten this will go wrong. In which case, mirrored sunglasses are your best bet. You don’t want people seeing your eyes while little Bartholomeow digs his claws into the sidewalk. Ouch, that sounds painful, and might look like cat abuse to the general onlooker. Best to protect your identity while in these early training stages. Oh, you like the name Bartholomeow? Thank you. Giving cats ironic names with a human quality to them is also pretty hip if you ask us.
9. Still got that axe? Well get that and your circle frames ready, because we’re going to the farmer’s market!
Yup, when the bugs destroyed your urban farming initiative it meant the next best thing, hitting up the local farmers market. You’re on the hunt for the biggest juiciest most obscure strain of melon to hack the fuck open with that schmancy axe of yours. Finally, an opportunity to actually use it. You’re going to look stylish AF while you do it too, because you’ll have these I Pickled These Myself goodr sunglasses on. Why did we pick this particular pair to rock at the farmers market? Isn’t it obvious? Pickling inspo. A true hipster would pickle that melon. Just sayin’.