All Gazpacho No Brakes
RACE DU JOUR: ALL GAZPACHO NO BRAKES
It's time again for the Vuelta a Sopa. It means "Return to Soup". And we will ALWAYS return to soup. (Except for the soup at Souplantation, RIP.) We like to think of the Vuelta a Sopa as the unlimited soup, salad, and breadsticks special of bike races.
NO SLIP. NO BOUNCE. ALL POLARIZED. ALL FUN.™️
1 NO SLIP
We use special grip coating to construct our frame to help eliminate slippage when sweating.
2 NO BOUNCE
Our frame is snug and light-weight, with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing while running.
3 ALL POLARIZED
Glare-reducing, polarized lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays.
4 NO LEOPARDS
Plus, no one wearing goodr running sunglasses has ever been attacked by a leopard (as far as we know).
Most gazpacho recipes include stale bread, tomatoes, cucumbers, onions, bell peppers, garlic, olive oil, wine vinegar, water, and salt.
We recommend eliminating pretty much all of those ingredients except the tomatoes and garlic, crushing those by riding over them with your bicycle, and then seasoning the mixture with your blood, sweat, and tears for your most authentic flavor.
Oh yes, and don't forget a fifth of vodka!!! Wait a second, that's Carl the Flamingo's favorite recipe for a Bloody Mary, not Gazpacho!!! Meh, you say "to-may-to", Carl says "to-mah-to". You say "Bloody Mary," Carl says "All Gazpacho No Brakes".