Extreme Dumpster Diving
PSSST...C'MERE.
CRAZY EDDY WANTS TO TELL YOU A SECRET. EXTREME DUMPSTER DIVING IS THE NEXT BIG THING!!!!! NEED A NEW LAPTOP? THE DUMPSTER BEHIND THE WATER RECLAMATION PLANT IS A GOLD MINE. GRAB A CELL PHONE TOO! JUST REMEMBER TO PUT ON YOUR WRAP G SUNNIES FIRST. THEY WON'T FOG UP ON THE STEAMIEST OF HEADS OR IN THE FOULEST OF STENCHES.
Made For
biking
Great For
beasting
running
LOOK GOOD, BIKE GOODR.
1 NO SLIP
WE USE A SPECIAL GRIP COATING AND TEMPLE GRIPS TO CONSTRUCT OUR FRAME TO HELP ELIMINATE SLIPPAGE WHEN YOUR LAVA-INDUCED SWEAT POPS WHILE VOLCANO SURFING.
2 NO BOUNCE
OUR FRAME IS FITTED AND LIGHTWEIGHT, WITH A REMOVABLE NOSE-PIECE AND TWO SIZING OPTIONS TO PREVENT BOUNCING WHEN YOU LAND ON YOUR MOTORCYCLE SEAT AFTER DIVING OUT OF A HELICOPTER.
3 ANTI-FOG
EXTREMELY EFFECTIVE ANTI-FOG COATING PREVENTS THE INSIDE OF THIS EXTREME WRAPAROUND LENS FROM FOGGING EVEN WITH THE EXTREMEST SWEAT.
4 ALL POLARIZED
GLARE-REDUCING, POLARIZED LENSES AND UV400 PROTECTION THAT BLOCKS THOSE HARMFUL UVA AND UVB RAYS.
5 ALL EXTREME
YOU MIGHT BE AN EXTREME ATHLETE, YOU MIGHT BE A PRETTY AVERAGE ATHLETE WHO IS EXTREMELY DELUSIONAL. BOTH EXTREMELY EXTREME EXTREMISTS YEAHHHHHAHARGHHHHHWOOOOOHOOOOOOO
DO I PLAY SPORTS???
BASKETBALL? BORING!!!
SOCCER? STUPID!!!
HOCKEY? HORRIBLE!!!
TENNIS? TEDIOUS!!!
CRICKET? CRAPFEST!!!
WE'RE HARDCORE, BABAYYYYY!!!!
THERE'S ONLY ONE SPORT WE F*CKING CARE ABOUT!!!!!
WOOOOOO!!!!
EXTREME DUMPSTER DIVING
