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ORIGIN STORIES
- TROPICAL OPTICALS
- THE DRINKS
- THE PATTERNS
- COSMIC CRYSTALS
- THE MOON
- THE SUN
- VRGs
- THE FUTURE IS VOID
- NAEON FLUX CAPACITOR
- VOIGHT-KAMPFF VISION
- SEE YOU AT THE PARTY, RICHTER
- MACH Gs
- CLUBHOUSE CLOSEOUT
- TALES FROM THE GREENSKEEPER
- AMELIA EARHART GHOSTED ME
- BUZZED ON THE TOWER
- CAPTAIN BLUNT'S RED-EYE
- FREQUENT SKYMALL SHOPPERS
- KITTY HAWKERS' RAY BLOCKERS
- OPERATION: BLACKOUT
- OGs
- A GINGER'S SOUL
- RACE DU JOUR
- THE GANG'S ALL QUEER
- SCREW THE METRIC SYSTEM
- THE EH TEAM
- DON'T FLOCK WITH A FLAMINGO
- LONDON 2021
- L.A. 2021
- TOKYO 2021
- BOSTON 2021
- BIG LEPRECHAUN ENERGY
- IS MERCURY IN RETROGRADE?? AGAIN?
- CARL'S GOT A CANDY HEART ON
- SUNNIES WITH A CHANCE OF SPRINKLES
- THE PASSION OF THE CRUST
- IT'S TUESDAY SOMEWHERE
- WE HAD LIGHTS FIRST
- NAKATOMI TOWER CHRISTMAS PARTY
- WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA
- PROFESSIONAL RESPAWNER
- SIDE SCROLL EYE ROLL
- MODERN DAY SNAKE OIL
- BLUE SHADES OF DEATH
- ELECTRIC DINOTOPIA CARNIVAL
- SILVERBACK SQUAT MOBILITY
- THE EMPIRE DID NOTHING WRONG
- 50 SHADES OF GRAVY
- PUMPKIN SPICE NIGHTMARE
- CHICAGO VS. NYC RAP BATTLE
- PARTY LIKE A FLOCKSTAR
- THESE SHADES ARE TRASH
- PBR EYE CANDY
- PABST O’CLOCK
- PIBBER-MOUFLAGE
- SUCK IT, KING GEORGE
- SORRY, NOT SORRY (BUT ACTUALLY SORRY)
- FLAMINGOS WIN MAJORS
- STAY PAWSITIVE
- LGBTQ+AF
- CAN I TIKI YOUR FANCY?
- DOWN TO FIESTA
- LONDON 2020
- BOSTON 2020
- BFGs
- HOOKED ON ONYX
- IT'S NOT JUST A GAME
- MINT JULEP ELECTROSHOCKS
- DO YOU EVEN PISTOL, FLAMINGO?
- RUNWAYS
- MARY QUEEN OF GOLF
- RAGE QUIT IT AND HIT IT
- FRESHLY PICKED CERULEAN
- GINGHAM IS SOOO LAST SEASON
- HAUTE DAY IN HELL
- VEGAN FRIENDLY COUTURE
- CHIPS AND SIPS
- FAST AS SHELL
- CIRCLE Gs
- FADE-ER-ADE SHADES
- I'M WEARING BURGUNDY
- IT'S NOT BLACK, IT'S OBSIDIAN
- INSERT COIN TO CONTINUE
- FRESHLY BAKED MAN BUNS
- INFLUENCERS PAY DOUBLE
- I PICKLED THESE MYSELF
- MIDNIGHT RAMBLE AT THE CIRCLE BAR
- NINE DOLLAR POUR OVER
- STRANGE THINGS ARE AFOOT AT THE CIRCLE G
- SUPER FLYS
- DIRK'S INFLATION STATION
-
SPORTS
- IN THE WILD
- ANIMAL CROSSING ISLAND
- WHAT THE HELL IS A BEAST?
- OFFICIAL SUNGLASSES OF THE OCR WORLD CHAMPIONSHIPS
- SATURDAY MORNING IN THE GRAND CANYON
- A BLIND BEAST KNOWS NO BOUNDARIES
- RUNNING THE BARKLEY IS FUN?
- BIG CAT BADASS
- BUT FIRST HAPPINESS
- LOS PADRES TRAVERSE FKT
- JAVELINA JUNDRED RACE RECAP
- OFFICIAL SUNGLASS PARTNER OF USA WEIGHTLIFTING
- WE'RE AN AVATAR
- GOODR UP YOUR GAME WITH ANIMAL CROSSING PATTERNS
- ON THE FENCE ABOUT SPIN CLASS!?
- PEDICABS IN NYC
- FLAMBOYANCE
- GOODR STAFF DEBUNK THE GAMER STIGMA
- CLG & FRENDZ DEBUNK THE GAMER STIGMA
- THE FLAMBOYANCE DEBUNKS THE GAMER STIGMA
- A GOODR WEDDING
- A CHAT WITH ALEXI PAPPAS
- RACE RECAPS
- CARL'S TOUR DE FRANCE RECAP 2020
- SPEED PROJECT 2019
- TIPS & TRICKS
- RUNNING WHILE HIGH
- IT'S NOT A BOGEY, IT'S A FLAMINGO
-
SHENANIGANS
- IN THE PRESS
- SEASON 03 OF CULTURE GOODR IS OUT
- YOU HAD ME AT DUNKIN'
- TROPICAL OPTICALS
- THE ROLLING STONES X COSMIC CRYSTALS
- COSMIC CRYSTALS
- GOODR REWIND
- THE ROLLING STONES ALBUM SERIES
- CARL'S ANTI-RESOLUTIONS 2021
- THE FUTURE IS VRG
- ROLLING STONES HOT LIPS
- INTRODUCING GAME GOODR
- GAME GOODR PARTNERS WITH CLG
- WONDER WOMAN SEQUEL
- NEW CATEYE SUNGLASSES
- POW! BAM! BATMAN SUNGLASSES!
- GOODR PARTNERS WITH PABST BLUE RIBBON
- WONDER WOMAN 1984 SUNGLASSES
- GOODR RELEASES AVIATORS
- RUNNER'S WORLD GEAR OF THE YEAR
- CARL'S INNER CIRCLE
- goodr GIVES BACK
- JUST FLOCKING VOTE
- BLACK LIVES MATTER
- GOODR x 1% FOR THE PLANET RECYCLED SUNGLASSES
- BRAVE LIKE GABE
- SOCAL SPECIAL OLYMPICS COLLAB
- SUNGLASSES ON THE FRONTLINE
- 100% CARBON NEUTRAL
- BREAKING SILENCE 2019
- BREAKING SILENCE 2020
- FUN
- GIFT GUIDE
- SOLVE FOR $6.66 OFF!
- BEHIND THE DREAMS: THE CIRCLING
- CARL AND HIS IDIOT COUSIN TEDDY
- DUST OFF YOUR LIBRARY CARD
- WHO IS CRAZY EDDY?
- DEEP DIVE
- ARE BLUE BLOCKERS A BLUE MIRAGE?
- THE BEST RUNNING SUNGLASSES GUIDE ON THE ENTIRE INTERNET
- WHY YOU NEED ORANGE SUNGLASSES
- COMPANY CULTURE WHILE WORKING REMOTELY
- GET TRENDY WITH OUR NEW HIPSTER SUNGLASSES
- THE BEST WOMEN’S SUNGLASSES
- BEST GOLF SUNGLASSES
- BEST SUNGLASSES FOR MEN
- NEON SUNGLASSES
- THE BEST PINK SUNGLASSES
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CULTURE
- CULTURE GOODR PODCAST
- S01E01
- S01E02
- BLACKOUT TUESDAY
- S01E03
- S01E04
- S01E05
- S02E01
- S02E02
- S02E03
- S02E04
- S02E05
- S02E06
- S02E07
- S02E08
- S02E09
- S02E10
- BONUS EPISODE 01
- BONUS EPISODE 02
- BONUS EPISODE 03
- BONUS EPISODE 04
- BONUS EPISODE 05
- REMIX SERIES 01
- REMIX SERIES 02
- REMIX SERIES 03
- REMIX SERIES 04
- REMIX SERIES 05
- REMIX SERIES 06
- REMIX SERIES 07
- S03E01
- S03E02
- S03E03
- S03E04
- S03E05
- S03E06
- S03E07
- S03E08
- S03E09
- S03E10
CARL THE FLAMINGO’S MESSAGE FROM TOKYO
2021 Tokyo 26.2 Running Race Sunglasses
Dear suckers attractive smart consumers,
How’s it going??? Don’t answer. I don’t care. I’m just asking you so you’ll ask me. And I am doing FANTASTIC. I’m writing to you now from Tokyo, my favorite city in the world, and I don’t just say that about every city. For the past two weeks, I’ve been here on a paid vacation business trip, to promote our ‘21 Tokyo 26.2 Running Race: Postcard Edition sunglasses.
The Tokyo Marathon was postponed until Satan-knows-when, but there’s still so much to do here. I’ve eaten sushi at Tsukiji Market, Andy's Fish, Manten Sushi Marunouchi, Tsugu Sushimasa, Haneda Ichiba Ginza 7 and Sukiyabashi Jiro, which inspired the documentary Jiro Dreams of Sushi. (Note to self: Make rip-off doc called Carl Dreams of Sunglasses.)
But it’s not all sushi and sake. At Harajuku District, I went shopping for anime cosplay outfits that I’m going to make all my employees wear. In Akusa quarter, I got a rickshaw tour of the city, and decided I’m going to make Teddy the Turkey pull me everywhere by rickshaw when I get back to LA. And at Oedo Onsen Monogatari, I enjoyed a hot spring day, getting a fish massage (where Garra Ruffa fish eat the dead skin cells off your feet, and then you eat a handful of the fish when nobody’s looking hehehe).
I’d go on, but my stomach is growling -- it’s sushi time! Tonight I’m checking out the kaitenzushi (回転寿司) shops, where you order food and it rolls up on a conveyor belt. If you ask me, and you did, ALL restaurants should be conveyor belt-based. Love ya, Tokyo!
Your favorite flamingo,
Carl
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