Hey guys. I mean, hey, y’all. I watched a YouTube video that said we should stop saying “guys” all the time as a default, because it’s not inclusive. But I hate saying “y'all.” I'm not a cowboy. How about “hey birds?” That feels inclusive. Because if you're not a bird, you wish you were. Or maybe “hey chicks?” No. I'm a bird, not a chick. But I like chicks. Can we still say chicks? Oh nevermind.

Y'ALL, I’m writing to you from Los Angeles, my favorite city in the world, and I don’t just say that about every city. It’s where I have one of my many homes, and some of my many kids. But I’m not here to visit my kids. I’m here to promote ‘21 Los Angeles 26.2 Running Race: Postcard Edition sunglasses.

The L.A. Marathon was rescheduled to May 23 from March 21, but Satan knows if that date will stick. So, we’re not waiting for the marathons to release our marathon sunnies line. We’re sticking to our schedule, and releasing the shades to celebrate each marathon’s city. And if there’s one city that needs more celebration, it’s Los Angeles.

In L.A., there’s always something to do: Tickle the bodybuilders in Venice Beach; tape a “Carl the Flamingo” sign over someone’s name on the Hollywood Walk of Fame; photobomb tourists at Runyon Canyon (it’s easier if you can fly); eat sushi at Urasawa in Beverly Hills (or if you’re cheap, just swim in the ocean with your mouth open); go to Universal Studios and ask the actors in Wizarding World if there’s a ride based on J.K. Rowling’s toxic transphobia (we could call it “The Legacy Ruiner”). So many options.

I’d go on, but I’m eating at The Ivy in West Hollywood, and it’s full of super famous A-list celebrities. I’m going to crash their tables and try to convince them to model goodr sunglasses. And make a movie about me. And buy me drinks. Love you, L.A.!

Your favorite flamingo,
Carl