INFLUENCERS PAY DOUBLE ORIGIN STORY
Being an influencer is hard work. You have to like, get up in the morning, share, go pee, share, drink some meal shake that's kind of okay and has questionable health benefits, share that. Then you probably commute on something new-agey and electric. Share that. Find cute dogs at the park and create cute content. Share that. Make sure you eat a fresh acai bowl at a local spot. Share that. Definitely work out. Film that, share it. Oh you forgot to tag your athleisure wear, edit. Phew, only 14 people saw it without the tag. Shower. Share your new organic locally sourced body lotion. Picture. Tag. Post. Exhausted from Instalife, watch Netflix. OMG Schitt’s Creek is too funny. Quote Moira Rose, create meme. Tag. Share. Make a story about how funny Schitt’s Creek is. Might as well keep talking into your phone and tell the followers about the second lunch you’re about to order from Grubhub. Quinoa, blah blah blah. And on and on. That's just one half day in the life of an influencer.
Gosh, what would society do without being able to peer deeply into the lives of these cyber elites. How would we waste time in the Starbucks line or on the toilet? That’s why, for a limited time only, influencers have the opportunity to pay double! Yup, that’s right! When purchasing these snazzy pink circle framed goodrs, click “Influencer Pricing'' at check-out to double your dollars. Then be sure to brag about your purchase to your 482 followers… oh, 482K followers… yea whatever. You probably bought them anyways.