Skip to content
  • SHOP rightChevronIcon
    • leftChevronIcon SHOP
    • COLLECTIONS
      • Shop All
      • Best Sellers
      • All Black Everything
      • Running Sunglasses
      • Last Chance Sunnies
    • NEW
      • Black Panther
      • Collegiate Collection
      • Limited Editions
    • APPAREL & GEAR
      • Shirts
      • Gift Cards
      • Gear
  • STYLES rightChevronIcon
    • leftChevronIcon STYLES
    • TRADITIONAL
      • OG
      • BFG
      • LFG
    • AVIATOR
      • MACH G
    • CIRCLE
      • CIRCLE G
      • PHG
    • CATEYE
      • RUNWAY
    • SINGLE LENS
      • SNOW G
      • VRG
      • WRAP G
  • COMMUNITIES rightChevronIcon
    • leftChevronIcon COMMUNITIES
    • RUN
    • BIKE
    • GOLF
    • BEAST
    • COMMUNITY SHOPS
      • Running Sunglasses
      • Golf Sunglasses
      • Cycling Sunglasses
      • Beast Sunglasses
  • Why We Exist
  • About
  • STORE LOCATOR
  • LOGIN
Cart

Add $50 for Free Shipping CONGRATULATIONS! You got free shipping!

Shipping, taxes, & discounts calculated at checkout

FREE STANDARD SHIPPING ON ORDERS OF $50+

|

FREE SHIPPING ON ALL SNOW G

goodr sunglasses
0
0
  • SHOP
    • COLLECTIONS
      • Shop All
      • Best Sellers
      • All Black Everything
      • Running Sunglasses
      • Last Chance Sunnies
    • NEW
      • Black Panther
      • Collegiate Collection
      • Limited Editions
    • APPAREL & GEAR
      • Shirts
      • Gift Cards
    CARL'S THORNY & READY TO FORNI
    Georgia Aquarium
    Collegiate Collection
  • STYLES
    • TRADITIONAL
      • OG
      • BFG
      • LFG
    • SINGLE LENS
      • SNOW G
      • VRG
      • WRAP G
    • CIRCLE
      • CIRCLE G
      • PHG
    • AVIATOR
      • MACH G
    • CAT-EYE
      • RUNWAY
    SNOW G
    OG's
    WRAP Gs
  • COMMUNITIES
    COMMUNITY SHOPS
    • Running Sunglasses
    • Golf Sunglasses
    • Cycling Sunglasses
    • Beast Sunglasses
  • Why We Exist
  • About
Access Denied
IMPORTANT! If you’re a store owner, please make sure you have Customer accounts enabled in your Store Admin, as you have customer based locks set up with EasyLockdown app. Enable Customer Accounts

goodrTIMES

  • ORIGIN STORIES
    • VRGs
    • THE FUTURE IS VOID
    • NAEON FLUX CAPACITOR
    • VOIGHT-KAMPFF VISION
    • SEE YOU AT THE PARTY, RICHTER
    • MACH Gs
    • CLUBHOUSE CLOSEOUT
    • TALES FROM THE GREENSKEEPER
    • AMELIA EARHART GHOSTED ME
    • BUZZED ON THE TOWER
    • CAPTAIN BLUNT'S RED-EYE
    • FREQUENT SKYMALL SHOPPERS
    • KITTY HAWKERS' RAY BLOCKERS
    • OPERATION: BLACKOUT
    • OGs
    • A GINGER'S SOUL
    • DON'T FLOCK WITH A FLAMINGO
    • WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA
    • PROFESSIONAL RESPAWNER
    • SIDE SCROLL EYE ROLL
    • MODERN DAY SNAKE OIL
    • BLUE SHADES OF DEATH
    • ELECTRIC DINOTOPIA CARNIVAL
    • SILVERBACK SQUAT MOBILITY
    • THESE SHADES ARE TRASH
    • DON'T TAB SHAME ME
    • LOST IN TRANSITION
    • BFGs
    • HOOKED ON ONYX
    • IT'S NOT JUST A GAME
    • CITRON+ALT+DELETE
    • MINT JULEP ELECTROSHOCKS
    • DO YOU EVEN PISTOL, FLAMINGO?
    • RUNWAYS
    • WORKIN' IT FROM HOME
    • MARY QUEEN OF GOLF
    • RAGE QUIT IT AND HIT IT
    • GINGHAM IS SOOO LAST SEASON
    • HAUTE DAY IN HELL
    • VEGAN FRIENDLY COUTURE
    • FAST AS SHELL
    • CIRCLE Gs
    • FADE-ER-ADE SHADES
    • I'M WEARING BURGUNDY
    • IT'S NOT BLACK, IT'S OBSIDIAN
    • INSERT COIN TO CONTINUE
    • FRESHLY BAKED MAN BUNS
    • INFLUENCERS PAY DOUBLE
    • I PICKLED THESE MYSELF
    • MIDNIGHT RAMBLE AT THE CIRCLE BAR
    • NINE DOLLAR POUR OVER
    • STRANGE THINGS ARE AFOOT AT THE CIRCLE G
    • STOP, DROP AND SCROLL
    • BODHI'S ULTIMATE WAVE
  • SPORTS
    • IN THE WILD
    • RUNNING [WITH A DONKEY] IS FUN?
    • YOUR BEST RUNNING FRIEND
    • THIS IS A GAMER
    • FASTEST KNOWN TIME OR FUNNEST KNOWN TIME
    • LIVING MY BEST LIFE BEING A MOM FIRST
    • WHAT WE TALK ABOUT WHEN NOT TALKING ABOUT RUNNING
    • ANIMAL CROSSING ISLAND
    • WHAT THE HELL IS A BEAST?
    • OFFICIAL SUNGLASSES OF THE OCR WORLD CHAMPIONSHIPS
    • SATURDAY MORNING IN THE GRAND CANYON
    • A BLIND BEAST KNOWS NO BOUNDARIES
    • RUNNING THE BARKLEY IS FUN?
    • BIG CAT BADASS
    • BUT FIRST HAPPINESS
    • LOS PADRES TRAVERSE FKT
    • JAVELINA JUNDRED RACE RECAP
    • OFFICIAL SUNGLASS PARTNER OF USA WEIGHTLIFTING
    • WE'RE AN AVATAR
    • GOODR UP YOUR GAME WITH ANIMAL CROSSING PATTERNS
    • ON THE FENCE ABOUT SPIN CLASS!?
    • PEDICABS IN NYC
    • FLAMBOYANCE
    • GOODR STAFF DEBUNK THE GAMER STIGMA
    • CLG & FRENDZ DEBUNK THE GAMER STIGMA
    • THE FLAMBOYANCE DEBUNKS THE GAMER STIGMA
    • A GOODR WEDDING
    • A CHAT WITH ALEXI PAPPAS
    • RACE RECAPS
    • IT'S OKAY TO HATE VIRTUAL RACES
    • CARL'S TOUR DE FRANCE RECAP 2020
    • SPEED PROJECT 2019
    • TIPS & TRICKS
    • RUNNING WHILE HIGH
    • IT'S NOT A BOGEY, IT'S A FLAMINGO
  • SHENANIGANS
    • IN THE PRESS
    • A TALE OF THE GOODR CABANA
    • GOODR x REEBOK
    • PARTNERING WITH BIGGEST ESPORTS ARENA IN NORTH AMERICA!
    • SEASON 03 OF CULTURE GOODR IS OUT
    • YOU HAD ME AT DUNKIN'
    • TROPICAL OPTICALS
    • THE ROLLING STONES X COSMIC CRYSTALS
    • COSMIC CRYSTALS
    • GOODR REWIND
    • THE ROLLING STONES ALBUM SERIES
    • THE FUTURE IS VRG
    • ROLLING STONES HOT LIPS
    • INTRODUCING GAME GOODR
    • GAME GOODR PARTNERS WITH CLG
    • WONDER WOMAN SEQUEL
    • NEW CATEYE SUNGLASSES
    • POW! BAM! BATMAN SUNGLASSES!
    • GOODR PARTNERS WITH PABST BLUE RIBBON
    • WONDER WOMAN 1984 SUNGLASSES
    • GOODR RELEASES AVIATORS
    • RUNNER'S WORLD GEAR OF THE YEAR
    • CARL'S INNER CIRCLE
    • goodr GIVES BACK
    • GOODR x DENVER ZOO
    • JUST FLOCKING VOTE
    • BLACK LIVES MATTER
    • GOODR x 1% FOR THE PLANET RECYCLED SUNGLASSES
    • BRAVE LIKE GABE
    • SOCAL SPECIAL OLYMPICS COLLAB
    • SUNGLASSES ON THE FRONTLINE
    • 100% CARBON NEUTRAL
    • BREAKING SILENCE 2019
    • BREAKING SILENCE 2020
    • BREAKING SILENCE 2021
    • FUN
    • GIFT GUIDE
    • BEHIND THE DREAMS: THE CIRCLING
    • CARL AND HIS IDIOT COUSIN TEDDY
    • DUST OFF YOUR LIBRARY CARD
    • DEEP DIVE
    • THE BEST RUNNING SUNGLASSES GUIDE ON THE ENTIRE INTERNET
    • WHY YOU NEED ORANGE SUNGLASSES
    • COMPANY CULTURE WHILE WORKING REMOTELY
    • GET TRENDY WITH OUR NEW HIPSTER SUNGLASSES
    • THE BEST WOMEN’S SUNGLASSES
    • BEST GOLF SUNGLASSES
    • BEST SUNGLASSES FOR MEN
    • NEON SUNGLASSES
    • THE BEST PINK SUNGLASSES
  • CULTURE
    • CULTURE GOODR PODCAST
    • S03E01
    • S03E02
    • S03E03
    • S03E04
    • S03E05
    • S03E06
    • S03E07
    • S03E08
    • S03E09
    • S03E10
    • S03E11
    • S03E12
    • S03E13
    • S03E14
    • S03E15
    • S03E16
    • S03E17
    • S03E18
    • S03E19
    • S02E01
    • S02E02
    • S02E03
    • S02E04
    • S02E05
    • S02E06
    • S02E07
    • S02E08
    • S02E09
    • S02E10
    • BONUS EPISODE 01
    • BONUS EPISODE 02
    • BONUS EPISODE 03
    • BONUS EPISODE 04
    • BONUS EPISODE 05
    • REMIX SERIES 01
    • REMIX SERIES 02
    • REMIX SERIES 03
    • REMIX SERIES 04
    • REMIX SERIES 05
    • REMIX SERIES 06
    • REMIX SERIES 07
    • S01E01
    • S01E02
    • BLACKOUT TUESDAY
    • S01E03
    • S01E04
    • S01E05
  • ORIGIN STORIES Open subnav
    • VRGs
    • THE FUTURE IS VOID
    • NAEON FLUX CAPACITOR
    • VOIGHT-KAMPFF VISION
    • SEE YOU AT THE PARTY, RICHTER
    • MACH Gs
    • CLUBHOUSE CLOSEOUT
    • TALES FROM THE GREENSKEEPER
    • AMELIA EARHART GHOSTED ME
    • BUZZED ON THE TOWER
    • CAPTAIN BLUNT'S RED-EYE
    • FREQUENT SKYMALL SHOPPERS
    • KITTY HAWKERS' RAY BLOCKERS
    • OPERATION: BLACKOUT
    • OGs
    • A GINGER'S SOUL
    • DON'T FLOCK WITH A FLAMINGO
    • WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA
    • PROFESSIONAL RESPAWNER
    • SIDE SCROLL EYE ROLL
    • MODERN DAY SNAKE OIL
    • BLUE SHADES OF DEATH
    • ELECTRIC DINOTOPIA CARNIVAL
    • SILVERBACK SQUAT MOBILITY
    • THESE SHADES ARE TRASH
    • DON'T TAB SHAME ME
    • LOST IN TRANSITION
    • BFGs
    • HOOKED ON ONYX
    • IT'S NOT JUST A GAME
    • CITRON+ALT+DELETE
    • MINT JULEP ELECTROSHOCKS
    • DO YOU EVEN PISTOL, FLAMINGO?
    • RUNWAYS
    • WORKIN' IT FROM HOME
    • MARY QUEEN OF GOLF
    • RAGE QUIT IT AND HIT IT
    • GINGHAM IS SOOO LAST SEASON
    • HAUTE DAY IN HELL
    • VEGAN FRIENDLY COUTURE
    • FAST AS SHELL
    • CIRCLE Gs
    • FADE-ER-ADE SHADES
    • I'M WEARING BURGUNDY
    • IT'S NOT BLACK, IT'S OBSIDIAN
    • INSERT COIN TO CONTINUE
    • FRESHLY BAKED MAN BUNS
    • INFLUENCERS PAY DOUBLE
    • I PICKLED THESE MYSELF
    • MIDNIGHT RAMBLE AT THE CIRCLE BAR
    • NINE DOLLAR POUR OVER
    • STRANGE THINGS ARE AFOOT AT THE CIRCLE G
    • STOP, DROP AND SCROLL
    • BODHI'S ULTIMATE WAVE
  • SPORTS Open subnav
    • IN THE WILD
    • RUNNING [WITH A DONKEY] IS FUN?
    • YOUR BEST RUNNING FRIEND
    • THIS IS A GAMER
    • FASTEST KNOWN TIME OR FUNNEST KNOWN TIME
    • LIVING MY BEST LIFE BEING A MOM FIRST
    • WHAT WE TALK ABOUT WHEN NOT TALKING ABOUT RUNNING
    • ANIMAL CROSSING ISLAND
    • WHAT THE HELL IS A BEAST?
    • OFFICIAL SUNGLASSES OF THE OCR WORLD CHAMPIONSHIPS
    • SATURDAY MORNING IN THE GRAND CANYON
    • A BLIND BEAST KNOWS NO BOUNDARIES
    • RUNNING THE BARKLEY IS FUN?
    • BIG CAT BADASS
    • BUT FIRST HAPPINESS
    • LOS PADRES TRAVERSE FKT
    • JAVELINA JUNDRED RACE RECAP
    • OFFICIAL SUNGLASS PARTNER OF USA WEIGHTLIFTING
    • WE'RE AN AVATAR
    • GOODR UP YOUR GAME WITH ANIMAL CROSSING PATTERNS
    • ON THE FENCE ABOUT SPIN CLASS!?
    • PEDICABS IN NYC
    • FLAMBOYANCE
    • GOODR STAFF DEBUNK THE GAMER STIGMA
    • CLG & FRENDZ DEBUNK THE GAMER STIGMA
    • THE FLAMBOYANCE DEBUNKS THE GAMER STIGMA
    • A GOODR WEDDING
    • A CHAT WITH ALEXI PAPPAS
    • RACE RECAPS
    • IT'S OKAY TO HATE VIRTUAL RACES
    • CARL'S TOUR DE FRANCE RECAP 2020
    • SPEED PROJECT 2019
    • TIPS & TRICKS
    • RUNNING WHILE HIGH
    • IT'S NOT A BOGEY, IT'S A FLAMINGO
  • SHENANIGANS Open subnav
    • IN THE PRESS
    • A TALE OF THE GOODR CABANA
    • GOODR x REEBOK
    • PARTNERING WITH BIGGEST ESPORTS ARENA IN NORTH AMERICA!
    • SEASON 03 OF CULTURE GOODR IS OUT
    • YOU HAD ME AT DUNKIN'
    • TROPICAL OPTICALS
    • THE ROLLING STONES X COSMIC CRYSTALS
    • COSMIC CRYSTALS
    • GOODR REWIND
    • THE ROLLING STONES ALBUM SERIES
    • THE FUTURE IS VRG
    • ROLLING STONES HOT LIPS
    • INTRODUCING GAME GOODR
    • GAME GOODR PARTNERS WITH CLG
    • WONDER WOMAN SEQUEL
    • NEW CATEYE SUNGLASSES
    • POW! BAM! BATMAN SUNGLASSES!
    • GOODR PARTNERS WITH PABST BLUE RIBBON
    • WONDER WOMAN 1984 SUNGLASSES
    • GOODR RELEASES AVIATORS
    • RUNNER'S WORLD GEAR OF THE YEAR
    • CARL'S INNER CIRCLE
    • goodr GIVES BACK
    • GOODR x DENVER ZOO
    • JUST FLOCKING VOTE
    • BLACK LIVES MATTER
    • GOODR x 1% FOR THE PLANET RECYCLED SUNGLASSES
    • BRAVE LIKE GABE
    • SOCAL SPECIAL OLYMPICS COLLAB
    • SUNGLASSES ON THE FRONTLINE
    • 100% CARBON NEUTRAL
    • BREAKING SILENCE 2019
    • BREAKING SILENCE 2020
    • BREAKING SILENCE 2021
    • FUN
    • GIFT GUIDE
    • BEHIND THE DREAMS: THE CIRCLING
    • CARL AND HIS IDIOT COUSIN TEDDY
    • DUST OFF YOUR LIBRARY CARD
    • DEEP DIVE
    • THE BEST RUNNING SUNGLASSES GUIDE ON THE ENTIRE INTERNET
    • WHY YOU NEED ORANGE SUNGLASSES
    • COMPANY CULTURE WHILE WORKING REMOTELY
    • GET TRENDY WITH OUR NEW HIPSTER SUNGLASSES
    • THE BEST WOMEN’S SUNGLASSES
    • BEST GOLF SUNGLASSES
    • BEST SUNGLASSES FOR MEN
    • NEON SUNGLASSES
    • THE BEST PINK SUNGLASSES
  • CULTURE Open subnav
    • CULTURE GOODR PODCAST
    • S03E01
    • S03E02
    • S03E03
    • S03E04
    • S03E05
    • S03E06
    • S03E07
    • S03E08
    • S03E09
    • S03E10
    • S03E11
    • S03E12
    • S03E13
    • S03E14
    • S03E15
    • S03E16
    • S03E17
    • S03E18
    • S03E19
    • S02E01
    • S02E02
    • S02E03
    • S02E04
    • S02E05
    • S02E06
    • S02E07
    • S02E08
    • S02E09
    • S02E10
    • BONUS EPISODE 01
    • BONUS EPISODE 02
    • BONUS EPISODE 03
    • BONUS EPISODE 04
    • BONUS EPISODE 05
    • REMIX SERIES 01
    • REMIX SERIES 02
    • REMIX SERIES 03
    • REMIX SERIES 04
    • REMIX SERIES 05
    • REMIX SERIES 06
    • REMIX SERIES 07
    • S01E01
    • S01E02
    • BLACKOUT TUESDAY
    • S01E03
    • S01E04
    • S01E05

DR. RAY, STING ORIGIN STORY

An Editorial by Dr. Ray, Sting

I graduated from the University of Oregon with a BS in Marine Biology. I earned an MS and PhD in Ocean Biosciences at the Scripps Institution of Oceanography in San Diego. But now, as a Marine Biologist at the Marine Mammals of Massachusetts, my colleagues constantly chirp me with stingray jokes, and I can’t f***ing take it anymore.

The bullying started my first week. On Fridays, we get free lunch. The HR person, Lydia, bought pizza for everyone except me. For me, she brought a plate of worms, snails, and shrimp. I said, “What’s this?” She said, “It’s what stingrays eat!” Everyone laughed. I said, “No thanks, I’ll have pizza.” She said, “No, you won’t. Eat this and like it, fish-boy.” Then she slammed her fist on the table. Everyone glared at me. I was flustered. I didn’t know what to do. So I ate it. All of it. The worms. Snails. Shrimp, normally I love, but not mixed with worms and snails! Every Friday Lydia buys me this disgusting meal and I choke it down. I hate it. It’s ruined the taste of shrimp forever. Now, when I eat shrimp on its own, I also taste the worms and snails. After every Friday lunch, I try fruitlessly to expunge that nasty taste from my mouth, brushing my teeth so hard that my gums bleed.

Then came the pancakes. I didn’t even get it at first. I’d open my desk drawer – pancakes. My office door – pancakes. My car door, pancakes! Then I’d go home and open my apartment door, my fridge, crawl into bed – pancakes, pancakes, pancakes!!! How are they getting into my car and home?!?!!! And why pancakes?!?! I finally figured out the pancakes were referring to the shape of the stingray. Stingrays have flattened bodies and are nicknamed the “sea pancake.” But COME ON. EVERY F***ING CHRISTMAS, the other employees get sweet gifts, like generous gift cards and at-home gym equipment and new video game consoles and tortilla blankets and space heaters and liquor and what do I get? PANCAKES!!!! It’s not funny!!! It’s NEVER been funny!!! I’M A DOCTOR!!!!!!

But the last straw? The pee-sentation. The f***ing pee-sentation. We had a mandatory all-company meeting, right? In person. Every employee filed into the auditorium. Then the Founding Director of the Marine Mammals of Massachusetts, Victoria, walks out, and gives a presentation about ME! What to do if I STING someone with my TAIL!!!. I shouted, “I DON’T HAVE A F***ING TAIL!!!” She replied, “YES, YOU DO, FISH-BOY!” Then these actors came out and performed a scene where one of them was me and stung the other one with his tail and they cried out in pain and a third actor came out and peed on them and then the crowd caught mass hysteria and carried me down to the stage and made me eat a plate of worms, snails and shrimp and threw pancakes at me and peed on me and oh, it was horrible! It was so, so horrible! I thought, I spent 12 years in academia for this?!?!?!

There was one good thing, though. Before they peed on me, they gave me a REAL gift. Not pancakes for once! A pair of fun, fashionable, functional, ‘ffordable Dr. Ray, Sting PHG glasses.They didn’t slip or bounce while I wiggled and cried on the floor, trying to avoid the streams of urine bursting like water from fire hoses. Anyway, I’ll cut to the point: I’m giving you ONE MORE CHANCE, Marine Mammals of Massachusetts. You have ONE MORE CHANCE to treat me with respect and not childishly mock me because of my name! I didn’t choose to be named Dr. Ray, Sting! It didn’t cause me to pursue a career as a marine biologist! It’s just a name! So stop with the f***ing stingray jokes. Thank you.

PHG | DR. RAY STING ORIGIN STORY

READ MORE TO EARN YOUR PHG

LOOKING SCHOLARLY ALREADY!!!

Invalid password
Enter

1-Year
Warranty

30-Day Free
Returns

100% Carbon
Neutral

goodr sunglasses

We are recklessly committed to fun... BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, sunglasses.

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram
  • YouTube

Get in Touch

  • Log In
  • Help
  • Contact Us
  • Become a Retailer

Come say hey

  • Store Locator
  • Flamboyance
  • About Us
  • Work @ goodr

THE ESSENTIALS

  • Return Policy
  • 1-Year Warranty
  • Terms and Conditions
  • Privacy Policy
  • Sitemap
  • Accessibility
  • CCPA Information for California Consumers

Copyright © 2023, goodr sunglasses.
Sms Popup Desktop Img Sms Popup Mobile Img