GLORIOUS goodr GOSSIP, Vol. 1
By Brandy the Bee Hummingbird
OMG did you see Candice’s boyfriend??? He’s got like, big leprechaun energy. Candice works in the D.C. Yeah, goodr employees aren’t allowed to gossip, but I’m not an employee. I’m a bee hummingbird! The smallest bird in the world, only two and a quarter inches long. Originally from Cuba but moved to L.A. last year. LOVING IT!!!!!!! Anyways, since I’m small, I can, like, fly everywhere, undetected, and get all the hot goss. Hahhaha.
Okay, so, Candice’s new boyfriend. He’s TOTALLY got big leprechaun energy, you know? His name is Oisín Bláthnaid. Like, whaaa? Uhhh, could that name BE anymore Irish? #Chandler Go ahead. Try pronouncing Oisín Bláthnaid. I double dog dare you. You can try it ten different ways, and you’ll still be wrong. And get this: He’s 5’2” (guess she can’t wear heels), he wears St. Patrick’s Day-themed sunglasses, AND he’s got red hair and a red beard (and probably OTHER red hair too...IN A CERTAIN AREA!!!!! HAHHAHAHAHHA).
Also, he’s really lucky. Like really really really really really really really really REALLY lucky. Last week, Oisín visited Candice at work, and told this story about their first date. They went out to eat at the Rainbow Bar & Grill at the Sunset Strip in West Hollywood, and he took a wrong turn on the way to the bathroom, and ended up in some weird alley at the end of the restaurant, and found a HUNDRED. DOLLAR. BILL. on the floor. A treasure, like a pot of gold, AT. THE. END. OF. THE. RAINBOW?!??!!?! WHAAAAA???? I CAN’T EVEN!!!!!!
So, yeah. Like, totally big leprechaun energy. I don’t know if he grants wishes, but if Candice’s wish is to be sexually satisfied, I BET IT’S FULFILLED!!! AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
This Brandy the Bee Hummingbird, signing off.