goodr stepped into the danger zone today by releasing the new Mach Gs line of sunglasses. These aviator frames -- a first for the brand -- have long been requested by followers and loose cannon pilots buzzing the company headquarters in Inglewood, CA.

The seven stylish new colorways are entitled Operation: Blackout, Frequent Skymall Shoppers, Captain Blunt’s Red Eye, Kitty Hawkers Ray Blockers, Amelia Earhart Ghosted Me, Buzzed on the Tower, and Ace of Face. (Warning: While wearing them, people might stop liking you, because you’re dangerous.)

The polarized sunglasses retail for $35 and contain all of the no-slip no-bounce performance** that made goodr a two-time Runner’s World Gear of the Year-winning brand. Last March, the maverick company released the Circle Gs, a line of hipster-friendly round-framed sunglasses. The Circle Gs agreed to be the Mach Gs wingman anytime.

In celebration of the sexy beach volleyball-ready new line, goodr CEO Carl the Flamingo said, “SQUAAAWK! SQUAAAWK! SQUAAAWK! SQUAAAWK! SQUAWK, SQUAWK, SQUAWK!” This roughly translates to: “I’m super excited about the Mach Gs, since I actually developed the aviator frame as my preferred flying shades. Ask any bird.”

At this writing, the highly anticipated sequel Top Gun: Maverick is scheduled to hit theaters on December 23, 2020. But aviator fans won’t have to wait to stock up on Mach Gs. We could tell you more about the line, but then we’d have to kill you***.

*Every time you see a Top Gun reference in this press release, take a shot

**Seriously. We recently did a “shake them off” challenge and people just got headaches.

***You’re probably pretty drunk right now, right?